I was reading the agony column of, “THE SUNDAY TIMES”. Some lady had complained that since her husband is very busy pursuing a career, she wants to walk out of the marriage. Well her thinking and idea seemed ridiculous to the counsellor and even to me.
When one gets married, it is a commitment. The couple takes some vows and then it is obligatory to stick to them. One of the vows taken is to help one another. Where else a young man would need help from the wife except in being free to further his career.
Since times immemorial, every woman desires to have a successful husband. Review the fairy tales. Whether it was Sleeping Beauty or Snow White or Cinderella, each of them finally got married to a Prince.
The prince of modern era is the person who is successful in his field as per his capability and hard work.
The pre-requisite for being successful in any field is that the person puts in all his time and energy in his work. This is possible only when he is free from all other problems and issues.
At work, it would be unavoidable. But at home, the wife can ensure that he is kept free from all petty problems and the home environment is peaceful. She can also see that he is eating and sleeping well, so that he remains energetic and healthy.
Nowadays many women are also working, so they cannot give so much of personal attention to either husband or their children. But still they can help as much as possible.
There is another aspect to it. Women also need to work extra for advancement of their careers at times. Help is also expected from their spouse at that moment and should be rendered, unconditionally.
But it should be remembered that barring exceptional cases, only one can progress at one time.
When a person walks, one leg moves forward and one stays behind. One cannot walk moving both legs simultaneously forward. So is with life, one partner has to stay behind and help another to move forward at one time.
Regarding the issue of spending time, is a hype created by romantic novels and movies.
Some women get so much obsessed with them that they forget the real world. Which lady would like to have a husband not earning and sitting at home holding her hands all day.
Not a sensible one at least. For earning, a man has to go out. Even in primitive times men were going out to hunt to procure food.
Moreover true love lies not in demonstration of love all the time but in actions. If a man is working hard to provide good things to his family, not moving around with other women and not spending his earnings on himself, is a sign that he loves his family.
Similarly a woman who takes care to see that her family members are comfortable at home by all means shows that she loves them.
If one decides to walk out of marriage over petty issues, the marriage breaks very easily. One has to look towards the countries where divorce rate is very high. Marriages are broken at the drop of a hat and then people marry 2, 3 or any number of times.
But there is no stability in life. The result is high incidence of depression, anxiety, alcoholism and related problems. Because, here one lacks the close company and mental support provided exclusively by a stable spouse.
Moreover if you cannot get along with Mr. X and are unhappy what is the guarantee that things will improve with Mr. Y? Courtship with a man does not determine that the man will remain the same after marriage.
After all marriage is commitment. Once you have dedicated yourself to be with a person, you ought to make the best of it and stick to him/her. There may be certain things which you do not like.
But it is better to change the habits of an individual lovingly and patiently, rather than exchanging him for another.
When the marriage vows are respected by both partners, the marriage is sure to be successful resulting in a happy home and family.