The letter below was dropped on top of the skulls inside Ntarama Church by a genocide survivor girl called Alice Uwamahoro, during the 15th commemoration of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi.
In the early days of the Genocide, Tutsis who were being hunted sought refuge at Ntarama church but unfortunately they were brutally massacred. Among the limbs in this church include Uwamahoro’s mother and the rest of her family members, according to the caretaker of the Nyamata-based church-cum-memorial site. The letter that was translated from Kinyarwanda to English reads:
To my mother Christine Mukagacinya,
I love and miss so much, how are you wherever you are? This is the only opportunity I have got to write to you ever since you left me 15 years ago.
Mother, you left me alone, you left me with nothing; you left me with nobody. You went with my bothers and sisters and left me behind, why did you leave me mother?
Since the last minute you left me, my soul lives with you, my body struggles so heard to exist in this world.
Mother, do you hear me, I miss you so much, please mother if you could just come back to just say bye to me, why would you leave without telling me.
I keep thinking of all of the things I’d get you if you were here, mother, I miss playing, I miss laughing. I wish we could even spend a night together in the same bed.
Today I honoured you by forcing myself to go to write this letter, by not laying in the bed feeling sorry for myself.
Mother you are supposed to be here, you are supposed to heal the pain in my heart I am in pain mother, where are you please come and hold me for once.
Today I will continue to honour you by thanking God for the few days we spent together and for the powerful and positive impact you had on my life each and every day you lived.
I think about you everyday. Until I leave this world, I will never forget your voice, the way your hands look like mine now. I hope you are proud of me Mama.
I have tried the best I know in life I know you are watching me; I always want to make you very proud. I do miss you terribly you know it is hard for me to live after you mysteriously left me.
I will never stop being angry and crying, I felt so alone with my pen when I was writing to you this letter. I don’t have someone to cheer me, when everybody is happy I think of you and cry. I have nowhere to go, nothing to do, I have no meaning and no reason to live in this world.
Mama, I know you are there, I can feel you, I miss you everyday and try not to think of you but I can’t pass a minute without thinking about you, I love you mama I wish you could come back and I tell you how I love you.
Every morning I wake up thinking that I will see you but the darkness comes before you arrive, mama come please.
Mama, I can remember the last time I saw you and it was a good experience for me. I can remember the last time I saw you and smiled. I actually can remember every good times we had when you used to laugh and laugh and laugh...
While you were alive there was always everything was possible but that has since come to an end after you left. I don’t think of myself without thinking of you. Everything in me, everything I think of I think about you.
Mother, I am trying hard to live but thank you for being there for me. Thank you for giving this whole Motherhood love. I appreciate it and miss it. And, as always, I miss you so much. Mother I am waiting for you to come for me.