Shem’s Idle Notes’:Signs you are her friend, not her boyfriend.

Well, she seems to like you but you are not sure if the way she likes you is exactly what you wanted. In other words, she might have made you her friend, and not her boyfriend! Here are some clues to help you know for certain if you are her friend or her boyfriend!No.10 She’s not on her toes around you Where there's no tension, there's no romance. A woman who is interested in you is tense around you. She is constantly wondering, "Does he like me?" and, "What is he going to do next?” This will show in her behaviour.

Well, she seems to like you but you are not sure if the way she likes you is exactly what you wanted.

In other words, she might have made you her friend, and not her boyfriend! Here are some clues to help you know for certain if you are her friend or her boyfriend!

No.10 She’s not on her toes around you
Where there's no tension, there's no romance. A woman who is interested in you is tense around you.

She is constantly wondering, "Does he like me?" and, "What is he going to do next?” This will show in her behaviour.

If she's perfectly at ease around you, that's not necessarily a good thing. Some nervousness and a little fidgeting around you is good for you.  

No.9 She doesn't laugh at your jokes 
The importance of being able to make a woman laugh cannot be overstated. If she's not laughing, she isn’t tuned to your vibes. 

Don’t mind if you naturally don’t have a sense of humour. If she is interested in you romantically, she'll laugh at your jokes, even if they aren't funny to others. 

No.8 She brings up other women
This is shifting your focus from her to someone else. In other words, she isn’t interested in you to want you to focus on her.

So, she tries to make you notice other females in the hope that you will shift your focus from her. Don’t misinterpret this bit, a woman who is genuinely interested in you can never want you to notice other women. 
 

No.7 She won't bend to your will
Simply put, she never does anything you want her to do. Always, she chooses where the two of you go, what you do. The moment you suggest something, she flat out refuses to do it, and sulks if you insist. She is using you, period. She isn’t interested in you. 

No.6 She says the “friend” word.

She addresses you as "friend". She considers you a friend, and yet you are attracted to her. You never want to be in this position, because friends rarely cross to lovers.  Maybe in poems, but not in real life! 

No.5 She stays away from you in public
If she isn't interested in you, she certainly doesn't want anyone to mistakenly think that she is. Accordingly, she will avoid being seen close to you or in situations which might be misinterpreted as dating.

If she rejects all your invitations to the coffee shop, dinners, and the movies, think twice.   

No.4 She asks for favours
Is she regularly asking far more of you than your time and attention? Maybe she wants you to give her a lift to her friend's house. Maybe she wants you to lend her your laptop. But the moment you suggest a date, she gets suddenly very busy.

That clearly shows she is more interested in how you can help her, and not in your heart. Doing favours for a girl in the hopes that she'll fall for you does not make you a nice guy. It makes you weak.

No.3 She brings a third wheel
This is a completely unfair trick that women will play if they either don't like you or aren't yet sure that they do. They'll invite a friend along to help size you up or to take the pressure off of her having to talk to you.

Make a run for it, because she has clearly shown you that it is not a personal thing, more like a community thing.

No.2 She doesn't lay a finger on you
It's long been known that an interested woman will make some contact with you. If no playful touching is taking place, it's because she wants to keep her distance. Give her this casual touch test to see how she reacts.

If she cringes away from your touch or ignores you, she isn’t interested in you romantically.

No.1 She gushes over other men
Isn't this an obvious sign? Yes, it is. But the capacity of the lonely male mind for denial is staggering! Even this obvious sign is not obvious to most men.

She may talk lovingly of an ex-boyfriend or giddily discuss another guy's attractive qualities. Maybe she's just always commenting on how hot the guys on TV are.

This means she has a gap that she needs to fill, and clearly, you aren’t the one she is interested infilling it.

shemmugisha@gmail.com

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