Recently an interview of 92-year-old people who have been married since 1923 and have four children, nine grandchildren and six great grandchildren discussed the four most important ingredients to a good marriage.
In reverse order they were:-
Communication – “Sometimes it’s’ not what you say but what you did not say that matters the most”.
Number 4 on the most important list was communication. Thousands of people around the world would insist that it should be number one, but the apparent understanding of knowing when to communicate and when not to talk at all hold the same amount of importance in a long term relationship.
Respect – “We really like each other and always have”.
In position number 3 was respect. Respecting each other and deciding to hold each other in high regard is vital to any good marriage. This means that no matter what you say or do for your partner, if you respect them, it’ll come from the very best place in your heart.
Space – “She’s such fun to be with, but I’ve fun on my own too sometimes”
Having your own space is vital to any long term relationship. Having different needs is part of our genetic makeup and having the space to pursue those needs will allow you to never feel stifled and suppressed.
Agreeing to Disagree – “When I say ‘Yes Dear’ she knows I am really saying ‘No’”
The most important ingredient in any long term marriage is to agree to disagree from time to time. When you understand that there are no absolutes and that sometimes you can have a difference of opinion without it meaning that you have to take sides, then you will be able to overcome any obstacles without falling over them.
No matter how long you have been married, if you’re having troubles, then you can find help. The answers aren’t always what you would expect.
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