An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. –Oprah Winfrey. The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account. It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; he who makes one is a fool. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to sleep. Why won’t they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can’t they use birth control on time. Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment. Ends
