‘Shem’s Idle Notes’ : How to approach a beautiful woman

You see this beautiful woman, and you want to approach her. But you don’t have the slightest clue how to do it. Just the thought makes your heart race, and palms sweaty... No.10 - Stop fearing rejection Your fear of rejection is your worst enemy. You aren’t the first, and neither are you the last person on earth to be rejected.  You approaching the woman is flattering to her, so, her response is likely to be somewhere between neutral and positive.

You see this beautiful woman, and you want to approach her. But you don’t have the slightest clue how to do it. Just the thought makes your heart race, and palms sweaty...

No.10 - Stop fearing rejection

Your fear of rejection is your worst enemy. You aren’t the first, and neither are you the last person on earth to be rejected.  You approaching the woman is flattering to her, so, her response is likely to be somewhere between neutral and positive. Worrying about rejection ruins your chances before you even try.

No.9 - Don’t ask for her number.

Once you get a woman’s contact info, the rest is not so hard. As unrealistic as it sounds, you have to learn not to ask for their phone numbers. Instead, ask for their email addresses. Email is considered low risk, and as she is writing the email down, you could ask her to jot down her phone number as well.

No.8 - Try the “Do you have a card?” variation

Try this classy, extremely low-risk way to ask a woman for her contact information. Most women don’t have business cards, so be ready for the “I don’t have one.” reply. Smoothly and charming, try something like: “Well, write one up for me right now, I’ll wait...” Then, take out a pen and a small piece of paper and hand it to her. Most likely, she will play along and write you her contact info.

No.7 - Act fast

Once a woman says, “OK, you can have my e-mail” , Without fumbling or missing a beat, pull out a pen and hand it to her. If you dilly dally and lag, she will smell “unsure” and possibly change her mind. Remember to remind her to write down her number as well…

No.6 - Be ready for anything

If the woman isn’t generous with her email address, saying things like, “I don’t give out my e-mail to people I don’t know,” or “I don’t even know you,” be ready with to joke about it, hoping she will change her mind, or be ready to move on to the next girl. The point is to get as many contacts as possible, for you to do follow-up on later.

No.5 - Avoid being classified as a “friend” at all costs

If you act all shy and innocent and when you approach women, they’ll automatically put you into the “possible friend” category, and you’re finished! Don’t make excuses when you approach a woman. Come on with strength and confidence, and never try to disguise the fact that what you’re doing is approaching her for a date.

No.4 - Practice - then practice more

Don’t wait until you’re in the situation to realize that you don’t know how to handle something. Take time to imagine how you will ask a woman for her number, where you’ll do it and how you’re going to be standing. Practice what you’re going to say out loud, and imagine what she’s going to say back. Rehearse how you’re going to answer any objections that she gives you. You’ll be amazed, after you practice enough, how smoothly and easily you’ll do it during the real deal.

No.3 - Have your act together

You wouldn’t jump out of an airplane without making sure your parachute gear was in order. That’s why, before you even try to approach a woman, you better make sure you have your act together.  You don’t have to be James Bond, but you do need to have the principles of basic grooming down. Look clean and neat. Wear some decent clothes, nothing silly or flashy. Just look like a regular guy who has his act together.

No.2 - Don’t go for the goal line

This is a very important concept. When you’re getting a contact, do not try to win the whole game with a single toss. In other words, do not try to convince her to marry you right there on the spot. Don’t ask typical stupid questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Don’t even ask her out!

Going straight for the kill only sets you up for rejection. You going on and on about where you’ll take her on a date, how much fun you are going to have on the date, etc just creates awkwardness, pressure and resistance, so don’t do it.

No.1 - Make a fast exit

This is the golden rule: The longer you talk when you approach a beautiful woman, the more opportunities you have to blow it with her. All that blabbering just creates opportunities for mistakes, so remember, the only thing you want to do on approach is get her information. That’s all. Period!

After you have her info, don’t linger around like you have nothing else to do. Act like you have a life. Then go back, and at your leisure, call, call the 20 or 30 beautiful women’s contacts you gathered. Parfait!

Ends