Infidelity in Marriage: The Downside of a Private Investigator

It’s like the weirdest game of hide and seek you’ve ever played. Your instincts are usually right on the money but you cannot find any proof that your spouse is cheating. So you decide to call in the pros. Good idea?

It’s like the weirdest game of hide and seek you’ve ever played. Your instincts are usually right on the money but you cannot find any proof that your spouse is cheating. So you decide to call in the pros. Good idea?

There’s no doubt in your mind that your spouse is cheating on you. You think. All the indicators are there. The calls at odd hours, the dramatic change in habits and appearance for no apparent reason have got your radar working overtime.
When you bring these issues up with your spouse including the longer work hours which are becoming more regular, they have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all these activities. In fact their excuses are so good that not only do you believe them but you feel a certain amount of guilt for suspecting them.
That was then. Now the pattern has become too obvious to ignore. You are now one hundred percent certain that your spouse is having an extramarital affair. Except for one problem; you still do not have any hard evidence. So how do you get that proof? Well there’s always a private investigator.
Private investigators are trained in the art of surveillance and many of them have been able to retire comfortably thanks to the always profitable cheating-spouse industry. They have the equipment and experience to give you a definitive yes or no answer regarding your spouse’s fidelity.
So why would you hesitate hiring one?


Depending on the fees and rates charged a highly respected private investigator can cost you a pretty penny. While some may charge you a flat rate (still very steep), a great deal of the billing will be based on how long the assignment lasts. That only makes sense. Private investigators are trained professionals whose time is extremely valuable. If your spouse is cheating and their radar tells them they are being watched, they may decide to lay low for awhile. If you want the private investigator to stay on the case, the money can add up quickly.

The Sleaze

Fortunately, this is rare since a number of states require private investigators to be licensed and many take great pride in protecting their work and reputation. However, like any field, there are some bad apples that have no problem stringing you along so they can fleece you for whatever you’re worth. After they’re done, you still have no clue as to whether your spouse is having an extramarital affair in or out. No surprise, since sleaze is usually accompanied by shoddy or lazy workmanship. Again this is not the norm but it does exist.

The Guilt

For all the different ramifications, hiring a private investigator makes one thing loud and clear; you don’t trust your spouse. Otherwise why would you hire a third party to keep tabs on them? You cannot help but have a little bit of guilt about it. Yes you want to know but spying is still spying. That’s a clear indicator that the trust you both had in the early years of your marriage is  to all intents and purposes, gone.


You spent money and countless sleepless nights wondering. So what is the result? According to the investigator your spouse has been faithful almost to the extreme. All your suspicions about the odd patterns and behaviors have been dispelled. He or she was really telling you the truth. You’re relieved but still left with that feeling of emptiness in your stomach as well as your pockets.

They Find Out

A good private investigator is also very experienced when it comes to keeping themselves hidden from the person they are observing. Unfortunately you are not and your spouse has found out big time that you have hired someone to investigate them. What happens next is fairly predictable; they blow their tops. Any trust that was left in the relationship will most likely disappear for good.
If you have your suspicions concerning your spouse’s fidelity, it’s only natural that you would want to know. Since carrying on an extramarital affair requires a certain amount of ingenuity it might be necessary to call in someone who is experienced in uncovering this type of behavior. But go very carefully. Once you go through with hiring a private investigator, the window of opportunity to turn back can close very quickly.