For the Shamba Boy
One cool breezed evening, I was chilling at Gisenyi town at Chez Muvara pub with some buddies who happened to know some Congolese dudes in the same pub. I was sipping on my second soft beer... lol, when one of the Congolese guys said, “ yai Rwandese are pretty fearful.”
Then one of my friends looked back in amazement and asked, “Why?”
The Congolese dude said, “four years ago, we lost one of our loyal shamba boys who happened to be Rwandese. My mother gave me money to go to the city and get a coffin for the beloved departed.
On my arrival at the city, I met Clementine who I used to call “chou chou cherie.” She is a daughter to one KUKUMBA SESE WA BOLONGO, the chief of our village. I had always admired her and longed to take her out for a meal and right then, was the right time; probably the last chance I would ever get.
So, I took her to an expensive restaurant in the area. I later realized, I had spent all the money for buying the coffin. I had gotten drunk and spent the night on the streets, the next morning, I woke up with a hang-over plus the girl had gone. That same day I was supposed to journey back home; so I decided to use the only resources left...MY BRAINS.
I decided to go to a cemetery where months before we had buried my former boss who owed me half a year’s salary. I dug up his grave, removed his corpse out of the coffin and carried the coffin home.
On my way back, I met an armed security man near a forest. I was covered in dirt and looked suspicious so he asked me “WEWE UNA ENDA WAPI?” (Meaning, “Where are you going?”). I did not want to get in trouble so I answered, “boss you see that spot where I was buried me, is so hot during day and worse during the night so, I have decided to move into the forest where it’s a bit cooler.”
The security man was so frightened he wet his pants and left his weapon as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Then, I took the coffin home laughing at myself.