In his book published in 2004 titled ‘Controlling Anger in Relationships’, Chuck T. Falcon tries to explain the way anger can be contained to maintain healthy relationships.
He writes that, “Close, trusting relationships with others help you avoid depression after life stresses and help prevent illness, speed recovery, and promote longevity. But a bad relationship can cause depression and make your life seem like hell.
In comparison he explains that, In the best relationships, the partners calmly and tactfully talk about irritations, disagreements, and conflicts without blaming each other and then problem solve, negotiate, and compromise.
However, Falcon doesn’t rule out that anger can be postive and that when put to proper use can lead to positive results.
“Occasional arguments with yelling can feel good when it unearths important issues and leads to problem solving,” he explains.
But he further mentions other negative outcomes such as, “hurt feelings, sabotages problem solving so that problems become chronic, damages trust and closeness, and may lead to a partner feeling very justified in lying or deceiving by omission.”
To remedy these issues Falcon advises regular problem-solving discussions with your spouse.
The following steps can calm the nerves and reposition your emotions to avoid seething rage.
When irritated by someone, and you are the kind of person who retaliates with rage, take a break from the person making you angry and walk away to calm down. It is healthy to express your frustration in a non- confrontational way.
Physical activity like a quick walk, trot or swim can vent out one’s emotions. Later, incinerate the anger by working with the person who angered you to solve the issue at hand.
Another tip is not to hold grudges and to understand that people have varying characters so, it would be unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you.
Controlling anger sizzling emotions of anger is possible. Never let anger take a hold of you because it causes physical sickness and strain relationships.