1. Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Answer: Because the captain was standing on the deck.
2. What is the best thing to do if a bull charges you?
Answer: Pay him!
3. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
Answer: Because they hog the ball!
4. Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
Answer: The one with the biggest head!
Favourite Tongue Twisters
• A tutor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor:
“Is it harder to toot:
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?”
• The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick
• What noise annoys an oyster?
The noise that annoys an oyster
is a noise that knows no oyster.
• The Leith police dismisseth thee,
The Leith police dismisseth us.
• Pure food for poor mules