Alex and I were enjoying an evening just chilling at his Nyarutarama home watching the replay of the 2009 Champions League finals. Some of his friends had come over, drinks were flowing and conversations were interesting.
All of a sudden, Alex, turned to me and throws what was meant to be a compliment.
“Love, your bum has become bigger because I brought peace of mind into your life,” he said in a tone full of pride. I looked at him in disbelief. I got so irritated, and could not help but mumble my frustration.
His friends burst out in laughter and they all simultaneously gave me up big thumps. I felt like jumping to his neck and tearing his mouth apart. With difficult, I condensed my anger. I can only thank God for my patience.
I pretended to be ok with his weird “compliment” because I did not want to embarrass him or myself in front of his friends.
For the next couple of minutes, millions of thoughts were running through my mind. I was contemplating the best way to stop feeling awful.
Having a big bum in Africa is considered an asset that can add to a woman’s beauty. However, this is debatable. In the West, for example people do not really appreciate having big bums.
Never the less, no man should take pride in insulting or making fun of a woman’s body. I was psychologically tortured when Alex made that comment because I consider myself to have an average body structure. The statement hurt my ego.
The first thing that came to my mind was to end my friendship with Alex, but I realised that he probably did not intend to insult me. But what kept disturbing me was that his friends could simply not stop staring at me.
I could feel their eyes piercing through my body. With uneasiness, I excused myself, stood up and rushed out of the living room. My first stop over was Alex’s room where there is a big dressing mirror hanging on the wall.
I turned away from the mirror, so that I could look at my bum and confirm if there was any truth to what Alex had said. I do not know if I was prejudiced by his comment, but when I looked at my bum through the mirror, it looked larger that I thought it was.
I actually felt like I was carrying two stuffed pillows on my behind. The sight took me back to days of high school, when boys made fun of girls with big bums saying that they are wearing on sponges to enlarge the rear body.
The mirror experience irritated me the more and I felt very insecure there after. To add insult to injury, I had plans of filling my wardrobe with leggings and all sorts of close fitting pieces clothing, but his comment only made me think twice.
I must confess that I now suffer from a kind of inferiority complex and I tend to get nervous whenever someone walks behind me.
Alex may have shattered my confidence which may actually take time to rebuild. But if we are to avoid insults, boys should shred the traditional beliefs and accept women the way they are.