Dear Aunt Silvia,
I am a single mother of three working for an international NGO. I have no other source of income save my job which I serve diligently. I have two bosses, a male and his deputy a woman. I can’t tell you the nightmare I undergo due to the pressure these two bosses put on me.
My male boss wanted to have a relationship with me but I turned down his proposal. My female boss knew about this and since then she is making me pay on behalf of the boss, since she has had eye on him for a long time.
The male boss knows about this but he is not interested in her; this makes my woman boss very bitter hence my being mistreated.
What do I do? Should I quit my job, forward my case to the courts of law or do we have labor office which I can report to?
In such a situation a person can get confused not knowing where to start considering the fact that senior bosses are involved.
Such things are experienced in the corporate world all over. All the same you should not be intimidated by any of your bosses. Your male boss should not harass you into having an affair with him, if you are not for it then don’t go for it.
Remember we only get into relationships because we want to be part of it 100 per cent both physically and emotionally. If you develop feet made of clay you will be sinking deeper as the days go by trying to get new jobs all the time and stalling in the line of your career.
Many people have found themselves in even worse situations than yours and managed to come out triumphantly, so I encourage you to do the same.
There is an old adage which says “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.
Your female boss is projecting her frustrations on you since the man she is eyeing is not interested in her. Here you need to play your cards well lest you be hurt - due to that fact your female boss can taint your image or destroy your chances of going up the ladder in that company in future you need to tread very carefully.
I suggest you be bold and talk to your male boss first and air your concerns about having a relationship with him and how you feel about it, make sure you leave no stone unturned so that in future he should not think about it again.
Once you are through with him, go and seek audience with your female boss, give her a piece of your mind but with all due respect - most problems can only be solved when you tackle the situation head on – whining and crying won’t help you much.
Don’t quit your job because no one will come forward to help you with your responsibilities and if you start quitting jobs because of such issues then you are bound to be on the move forever; these issues are everywhere its only how each one of us deals with them that differs.
Going to court or the labor office should be the last resort and you can only afford to do so if you are ready to quit your job.