The world is full of very interesting specimens, none weirder than the human variety.
I’ve been an astute student of the behavior that homo-sapiens are oft to exhibit and I’ve often thought, “I’ve finally seen it all”, but trust Adam and Eve’s descendants to prove me wrong.
Last week, a note on these hallowed pages reported my tango with the lady that, allegedly, liked ladies as much as I did. That, my friends, was one of the many surprises life has thrown at me to prove that I haven’t seen anything yet.
Well, falling in…whatever I fall in….with a lady that likes ladies isn’t something that one simply recovers from. It’s a process and, in fact, in some cases professional help is needed.
In my case, I needed all the help I could get. It got so bad that whenever I saw a lady I was interested in the first thought in my head wasn’t “I wonder if she is single and searching” but “I wonder if she likes men at all?”
Those kinds of suspicions I had now couldn’t be deleted from my memory card just like that; I needed professional help. In came the Ugly Munkiz to save the day. What did you think; that I was going to see some shrink? Yeah right; like I have that kind of money to waste!
I made an appointment with the entire fraternity at the new, and rather unsatisfactory, drinking joint. We are still looking for a new home after the Shady Bar was razed by the KCC bulldozers….I finally know what its like to have no roof over my head.
Anyway, with a few Mutzig’s down their throats they finally gave me the low down on this ‘lesbian thing’ as they called it. I’ll try to give an accurate account of the conversation. According to one Ugly Munki, all girls are a little on the homo side.
“Man, some girls are so utterly beautiful that you can’t help but fall for them; and if another woman fell for her it would be understandable.”
That got us started about a certain young lady called Joelle who’s so gorgeous that she looks good even in the harsh rays of the morning sun after a hard night drinking. That, my friends, is impressive.
The boys all unanimously agreed that if they found their girlfriends in a compromising position with Joelle they would understand. I can’t say that I wasn’t surprised by their generosity of spirit; it isn’t cheating if it’s with the same sex.
Then one guy mentioned the fact that my source of information about the Ugandan lady wasn’t exactly a neutral party.
According to him everything she alleged was to be taken with a pinch of salt, “she has certain sly interests”. He might have a point; I knew that she’d fallen for the Old Bachelors charms….but I never thought she’d fight so dirty.
I’ve heard of low blows but this one was ridiculous. I know that all is fair in love and war…but this was down right nasty. Trust a woman to fight dirty. The things I’ll learn…