Dear Aunt Silvia,
I am a young male college going student. I have a girlfriend whom I met while we were both still in secondary school. Immediately after high school my girlfriend was taken abroad by her family for further studies.
Before she left we had promised each other that no matter what happens we will always be together and in that covenant we exchanged rings. About six months ago my girlfriend stopped writing to me and I found out that she gave birth to a baby boy.
I am very devastated by the news because up to date I have lived according to our covenant, while she decided to go and look for another fish in the deep seas. What do I do?
I love her very much and want her to be my wife even after she gave birth to a baby belonging to another man, but I am not sure if she still loves me.
Young people sometimes make mistakes which they only come to regret much later. The covenant you share with your girlfriend sounds like a marriage to me, only that it was not officiated. When two young and naïve people meet and fall in love, they think it’s the end of the world and that they will never fall out of love.
They do all sorts of things and make promises to each other as if the world stops at their feet. This is because at such prime age, they are not exposed and have not seen the world enough to know that maybe the person they are in love with are not as perfect as they think they are in the first place.
This is what happened to your girlfriend, she left you behind going for her studies, of course with no intention of befriending another man that is why she exchanged rings with you – but distance proved to be her worst enemy only for her to get there and find that there is more to life than meets the eye!
She has gone to a more exposed part of the world and it caught her by surprise, that by the time she realized what she was doing – she was expecting the baby.
Unable to break the devastating news to you, she decided to break off the communication probably as a sign of guilt; you never know maybe she still loves you.
Be in the know that just because a woman and man have a baby together does not mean that they love each other! Sometimes it might be what we call a one night stand or just a silly mistake that resulted into the baby.
Instead of making conclusions, try and communicate with her, find out if she loves this man and if she is serious with her new man in her life, then leave her alone, as you continue with your life here.
If she admits that it was one of those silly mistakes that we are talking about then be ready to forgive her and welcome her together with the bundle of joy.
In fact am very proud of you having to accept your girlfriend back despite all what has happened, because of your love for her.
Very few people love the way you do. Take heart and solve this issue immediately before the heart betrays you.