RELATIONSHIPS : Think twice before a ring gets on to your finger

A lot has been said about weddings which have also partly contributed to Kigali`s beauty almost every weekend. For the much or little realized, there is excitement for that right path to marriage. “Unless it’s a wedding, I cannot accept to leave my family for marriage even if I love a man so much,” said Silvia, a University student. However, in a totally controversial experience, some who have been in marriage for a while look ahead to have peace than a mere wedding or knot. “I am proud to have been in marriage for the last seven years although I am not in a wed-lock,” says Betrice Wamahoro, a mother of three. She explains that although marriage changes depending on certain situations “weddings are good but people have to think twice when deciding who to wed.” She mainly focused on characters including dishonesty, hiding of marriage identity and mistreatments based on the knot principals as well as dumping or getting dumped for another. “Other partners believe that after the wedding and a knot on the figure, his partners’ whole life has finally come to the end with him or her. They therefore mistreat, command and dictate assuming the knot will force the partner to stand all that,” she said, adding, “It finally results into a shameful divorce.” She also pointed out characters where people wed for other reasons not marriage saying. “Some people wed to prove they have responsibility but later travel abroad forever after securing visas.” The loss of trust in couples for weddings has deeply eaten far deep even into the servants of God. Last weekend, it was reported that in neighbouring Uganda, a pastor was forced to stop another pastor’s wedding when proved that the groom was already married with three children. According to Emmanuel Gatera, a pastor and the Executive Secretary of the Anglican Church, the church does no even accept divorce but resolving solutions for any problem in a family. “On behalf of the Christian teaching and bible, divorce is not accepted. The bible believes in solving problems to ensure that the family exists,” Gatera said. He however expressed disappointment in servants of God who instead of serving and directing Gods` folk to the right direction, are themselves trapped in the wrong acts describing it has an abomination. “When we wed, the two people wife and husband become one. The bible says no one can separate what God has put together,” he said, adding, “It’s an abomination for a servant of God to engage in such acts.” Thinking twice before making a decision is not encouraging to avoid but taking appropriate measures for what is best. It is in this respect that there are others who really consider and respect a wedding or knot. “My wedding ring is the most treasured possession,” Raga Dee, 35, one of the top artistes in Uganda is quoted to have said. However, it is also in town that married people pocket these rings whenever they are looking for a new catch. “The first time I saw him I took note he had a wedding ring but when we met on appointment, I realized he did not have it. I got stranded. I loved this man and I could not discuss such issues the only time he had given me attention,” Betty (not her real name) answered when asked about her current partner and how they hooked each other. Although she could not reveal much about what it means in her relationship, she said “I am waiting for the time our relationship gets high to the extent of wife and husband. I am ready to fight it out if I realize he lied to me about his marital status.” When is your wedding …? And who is that person to put that ring on your figure..? Think hard and you can even take a second look if you are not sure yet. mugoyag@yahoo.com