My Ingenious solution to weight troubles

Over-weight people or exceedingly skinny people frequently serve as fodder for hilarious comedy routines. I envy those humorists who enjoy picking on such an unfortunate. How sadistic they are!

Over-weight people or exceedingly skinny people frequently serve as fodder for hilarious comedy routines. I envy those humorists who enjoy picking on such an unfortunate. How sadistic they are!

Obesity, including morbid obesity, is, if you’ll pardon the pun, an “expanding” problem in many countries all over the world.

This is nothing to laugh at. Skinniness is something to laugh at perhaps. Obesity is just not.

Obesity has been implicated in an increased likelihood of developing a number of serious ailments. Among the list of horrors are cardiovascular problems, breathing disorders, diabetes and cancers, not to mention the extreme embarrassment and life-limitations that you will incur when you can no longer fit on a Vero motor or in the space meant for one person in a taxi – you occupy for two! Luckily though, few obese people often use the services of Vero motos and taxis.

Because of these potential ailments, as well as excessive pride in some cases, fatties spend fortunes on diets, health clubs, pills and even surgery on very rare occasions in an often fruitless (no pun intended this time) attempt to slim down.

At the same time, in the same sector, in the same “Mudugudu”, and sometimes even living under the same roofs are people suffering from eating disorders, such as anorexia (an eating disorder, marked by an extreme fear of becoming overweight, that leads to excessive dieting to the point of serious ill-health and sometimes death)
Like larger than life people, many of these skeletal individuals spend fortunes trying to treat their conditions.

Now is the solution to these contrary problems as obvious to you as it is to me? I’m sure it is. Fat transfer.

Then again, if it’s so obvious, why isn’t it common?

Medical science desperately needs to develop a machine that sucks and blows fat from and into the troubled people at the same time. Then, doctors could attach one tube from the machine to a particularly chubby person and another tube to an exceptionally thin individual.

The suck-and-blow machine would then pull the fat out of the flabby person and pump it into the bony one, thereby solving two problems simultaneously.

I know nothing about medicine or engineering, so I likely couldn’t develop this device on my own. However, someone who is knowledgeable in both fields should be able to do it basing on my exceptionally brilliant idea.

A suck-and-blow machine would be a huge money-spinner for the medical profession because it can generate fees from two patients at once - two patients who are already inclined to spend fortunes on less reliable “solutions.”

With dazzling ideas like these, I don’t know why I don’t already own the world.

Well, I’m certainly glad that’s over with. Now that I’ve solved that world problem, who would like to go out and grab a beer with me? Considering what I’ve just done to help humanity - at no charge, I might add, I think it’s only fair that you buy.

easywilber@yahoo.com

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