Humour:Capacity building in bird hunting – help is on the way

It’s the trend now. I mean look around Kigali city and you will realize that the institutes are soon outnumbering the students.

It’s the trend now. I mean look around Kigali city and you will realize that the institutes are soon outnumbering the students.

I mean there is the Kigali institute of Science and Technology, The Kigali Institute of Finance and Banking (you should know what some sick minds out here are calling these two respectable institutes, by turning around the initials commonly used by the institutes i.e. KIST, SFB, etc), the Kigali Institute of Health, the Kigali Institute of Education….the list is long.  

Now introducing………the Kigali Institute of Bird Hunting. No! No! noooooo!! Don’t bring your applications yet. It’s still a mushinga, a mere project in my mind!! But believe me, in a couple of months it will be a sprawling campus boasting of the best curriculum and academic standards in Rwanda.

As an ‘academic’ with wide knowledge in the profession and most of all, one who loves his country more than himself, I have decided to come up with this idea because I strongly believe that this country badly needs human resources competent in this field.

 I have been going around different joints in the city doing what I know and do better (you know what I mean, don’t you?) and what I have been seeing is what has inspired me to come up with this very promising and important project that is going to generations and generations in the field of bird hunting and who knows?

This country could turn its focus from football to bird hunting as a sport and grab the international limelight as it has always desired. I trust my country men when it comes to bird hunting.

With enough skills, no one, not even the French (I was told that bird hunting is one of the factors that makes them enjoy super power status) can beat them when it comes to bird hunting.

This could also help put correct those who have been misunderstanding the First Ladies’ well intended message of ‘Treat Every Child Like Your Own.’ You should get to know how these bird hunting dwarfs have been interpreting this message. The misinterpretation has landed many into trouble.

 Anyway, as I told you earlier, the Kigali Institute of Bird Hunting is a reality. The idea is to share my vast knowledge and experience with my fellow countrymen, especially the young generation who I have seen making misguided moves that have at one time or another, ended in disaster.

Once the institute is up and running, the selections for the right candidates will be very rigorous; military style. To pass the entry exam, one will have to prove beyond doubt that they indeed can cope with the heavy academic work, course works and practicals and experiments (not what you are thinking).  

The lecturers who will be assisting yours truly will include such big regional names like Saggy from the land of bananas, David Mailu from the land of Mungiki and many others.

The subjects will include how to shoot birds without missing, how to sweet talk them without giving away the lack of any emotion, how to kill two birds without raising any suspicion, how to take them out without spending, etc.

Thus, the graduates will leave the institute equipped with ample skills to enable them to go on a hunting expedition to any part of the world, carrying the great Rwandan flag.

What will happen to my kingdom, you ask? Well, I have now decided to follow the world trend and liberalise the bird hunting market too.

I am tired of monopoly in the field. But then, don’t just dismiss me as just stupid. I intend to keep shares in the market which will after all be dominated by the KIBH alumni.

Ends

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