The Hater: I hate people who…

…only remembered to pray on Christmas day. On Christmas Day I was in church and I saw people attending mass for the first time in a whole year! Yes, it was easy for me to spot them out since I had last seen them on December 25, 2008. These jokers think that all their prayers for the year can be answered in just one church visit. I could not hate them in church since it is such a holy place with God’s love all over the air. However when I returned and switched on my laptop, I had no option but to hate them. Although God loves us all, He is really not happy with these one-timers. …invite me to all sorts of social networking sites. I know I am a very popular guy who is loved for the great work I do (Hating). However, I have to express extreme hatred for people with the annoying habit of inviting me to all sorts of social networking sites on the internet. I am already on Facebook but this does not mean I should also join funny sites like Jhoos, twitter, Hi5, flixter, tagged etc. If you really feel like inviting me for anything then I suggest you try me for dinner! Next time you invite me, to join such funny things I will simply delete you from my address book and even my phonebook. …behave like tourists in their home country. December is usually the time for some of our brothers in Europe and North America to visit their homes here. I just have a problem with those black brothers who while here, no longer want to drink anything but mineral water and pretend to be very uncomfortable in any place that does not have air conditioning. Please, save us the drama and in fact grow up! There is no point in pretending that a few summers and winters have made you forget Kinyarwanda or the reality of your country. …spend their careers telling lies. I have just realised that some people have proffesionalised sin. I am talking about mechanics who keep telling you so many lies in order to cheat their customers. They give you all sorts of reasons to justify overcharging you for small issues. Some even have the habit of using big (irrelevant) words to prove their point. I heard one recently telling a lady that her car’s carburettor had been disturbed by the clutch after the pendulum bob broke and disintegrated the fuel injection system which meant that she had to buy a new oil filter! I feel like hitting these jokers with a heavy spanner on the head. Your job is to fix the car not to exhibit your foolishness in my presence. …don’t make any resolutions for the New Year. It is 2010 and the Hater is still doing his thing, HATING. Most people make resolutions at the beginning of the year. I just hate those who don’t bother to make resolutions and live without any sense of focus. Style up please and aim for something this year. If you really have nothing in mind then I suggest you resolve to read this column every Sunday this year. If that is too hard then you can resolve to watch every game of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Those with resolutions are wished a great New Year 2010 by The Hater himself. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com The Hater