If you know me undercover and ‘over-cover’, then you know that I’ve been going on about Rwanda having become a country of firsts.
In the wildest of my imaginations, however, I never thought I’d encounter someone who’d claim that Rwanda was even the first country in the world to have hosted extraterrestrial tourists!
Maybe you are not getting my drift but then again, how can you? I am talking about 15th Century Rwanda!
A Swiss anthropologist called Dr. Hugo Childs says that he and his fellow scientists have discovered an extraterrestrial cemetery in Rwanda that is more than 500 years old.
“‘There must be 200 bodies buried there and not a single one of them is human,’ Dr. Hugo Childs told reporters in Kigali, Rwanda,” goes the story.
If you think I am talking hogwash, just write ‘Alien graveyard in Rwanda’ and punch the phrase into Google. The story you stumble upon will knock you off your rockers!
Well, I’ve tried to ask around to see if I can meet one of those reporters who were briefed by this Dr. Childs without success, but that is no reason for me to disbelieve the story. After all, I rely so heavily on Google for authentic news.
“They are in amazing state of preservation,” the story continues. “Soil and tissue samples indicate the bodies have been in the ground since the 1400s. We are now trying to figure out where they came from – and what killed them.”
Dr. Childs is reported to have found the bodies in a clearing, deep in the jungle, which would mean most probably Nyungwe forest. He declines to name the precise area for fear, he says, that we might interfere with his excavation work.
Understandably, with such a rare find, who would not want to keep away nosy reporters and curious Rwandans?
Someone needs time in order to get to the root of the death of this distinguished delegation of alien visitors.
Our good scientists, then, how did they determine that these tourists were not human?
“The creatures..….were much taller and skinnier than humans,” they assure us, and they were “about 7 feet tall” and had thin bodies and heads that were larger than those of humans.
If you’ve watched ‘ET’, that popular film of the early 1980s, you’d surely understand that those extraordinary creatures could only have been visitors from outer space.
However, again, how did our scientists decide that these ‘guys’ (in the popular parlance of today) were visitors and not immigrants from abroad?
And, again, they wouldn’t be worth their certificates if they didn’t have an answer. “Some of them must have survived,” says Dr. Childs, “because there is no evidence of a spaceship to be found.”
Poor fellows, then, the survivors must have buried their dead and hastily boarded their ship to vamoose.
Could their dead have been attacked by animals or the fierce warriors of Rwanda? Nope, or else the bodies would be showing signs of wounds or any form of assault on them.
What on earth (no pun intended!) could have killed them then? With no further study yet, Dr. Childs can only speculate: the “200 aliens [must] have encountered a deadly virus.”
So, you are a party of 600 aliens and on reaching your holiday resort some monkey flu puts to waste 200 of your compatriots. For information, monkeys are the dominant residents of Nyungwe forest.
We can only speculate that they took fright and opted for flight.
In fact, most probably the two hundred who died were in the first vehicle that touched down as the other two circled overhead, to observe the situation. Right?
Wrong! Otherwise who’d have driven the vehicle back up? And who’d have buried the bodies, stacked in fives as they were to be found by Dr. Childs more than five hundred years later?
Clearly, this was a team of organised explorers who were prepared for everything.
That is how they were able to dig the ground and bury their dead, even most likely smearing the bodies with preservation oils for later-day excavation and transportation for decent re-burial back home.
Which begs the question: should we expect our visitors back when the air clears of that monkey flu? Without doubt, their descendants are now observing our atmosphere and are set to descend upon us the moment the flu goes.
Woe unto us, then, if these descendants were to come calling and find that some doctor has been fiddling with the sacred bodies of their dead!
That is why it is incumbent upon us not to allow those responsible for disturbing the bodies get out of our sight. When the day of reckoning comes, let Dr. Hugo Childs and his team answer for their sins!
Meanwhile, join me in wishing my good old friend, Silvio Berlusconi, quick recovery.
I didn’t seem to see how that crazed man knocked out the Italian Prime Minister’s teeth, but surely that bloody face spoke for much pain. May the offender meet severe punishment!