They say that if a person has three genuine friends then they are lucky beyond riches. Only three, surely I have more than that? Then you get to think what qualities a friends has. We know the criteria steadfastness, honesty, blah blah. It is like looking for a perfect person and there is no such thing.
All humans have faults, you just have to be comfortable with those faults.
In some ways, faults are what define a person as much as their qualities, it is about what your limits are. At university we all stole each others food, borrowed stuff without asking, then fight and make up. No person could do these kinds of things today.
“Hey Rama, I just ate all your food, sorry bro. And I used your towel.” I would go mad.
So today I have so many types of friends, some with particular interests in common, some who I have accidentally stumbled upon and have some bond with.
The best are the ones that you don’t have to talk to often, or the ones you can share long silences with. Like Hekuran, the psychotic Albanian dwarf I met in Ireland.
We battled for the remote in the hotel TV room. “Good!!” or “No good” our friendship was a series of grunts, nods and long silences. Our friendship has suffered since he has learnt English.
I have found him to quite disagreeable in his views as nice as he is. It would not surprise me if he is wanted for war crimes back in Kosovo, hence his reluctance to return.
A friend is like emotional furniture, otherwise this house of life would be empty. They make you feel safe, can talk to you honestly with it hurting and above all they will be there for you. This is the hardest part, to what extent you will go out of your way for friends or even a stranger.
A few nights ago, I heard a commotion around 3 am. I awoke to hear several drunkards fighting and throwing stones while using my car for cover.
I shouted out, and went against my instincts and ran outside. I found a mob in a frenzy of violence, a man was being murdered before my eyes. I grabbed the arm of one of the mob and he nearly hit me with a rock.
I realised I could have been killed by the mob for intervening, but that man would most likely be dead. How many friends of mine would confront a murderous gang conducting an orgy of violence? Most would look the other way as most humans do. If I had time to think about it, I wouldn’t have intervened.
Every human being has empathy and is able to put themselves in the position of another person.
That is the true basis of friendship, that sensitivity to others. I love what Whodini said “We like to be with some because they’re funny, others come around when they need some money, some are friends through the winter, spring, summer and fall.
And then there’s some we wish we never knew at all, and list goes on again and again, but these are the people that we call friends.”