Can you be friends with your ex?

There is a famous saying that if you love something you should set it free –if it comes back then it is yours but if doesn’t then it was never yours. Your ex is someone with whom at some point you shared a lot of things. You used to laugh at the same things and cried about the same sorrows, but can that make you friends even after you have broken up? After dating Teta for close to six years, Eric says he never thought he could love again. He felt stronger attachment to his ex. Your ex is the best person that understands you more than anyone else. Talking to her doesn’t mean you are still in love with her and want to be with her. Sometimes they offer good insight to things that might be troubling you. “’Once friends’ does not mean ‘forever enemies’. What you failed to fix as lovers can be put aside and you go on with your lives as friends because your ex could even give you financial support when you have run out of options,” advises Eric. John Kazoora believes he would take in his ex for a friend and continue talking to her just like before but he feels the gap that was created can never be filled up. “I love knowing how she is progressing with life and I never wish anything bad for her because we once cherished each other but there is a strain in the things I say to her,” Kazoora says. While some people think that they can probably go back and talk to their ex, do they consider what their current spouses feel about it? Regina [not real names] says her boyfriend used to talk to his ex and it disturbed her so much. She later got used to it. She says, today she does not feel anything because she knows the same reasons that made them break up are the same reasons that will keep them apart even when they are friends. While we sometimes feel that that person is very bad because of what we failed to fix when we were in love then, should not be reason to keep us as enemies. Otherwise we would end up hating the whole world. Sometimes it depends on the terms on which you broke up. If what happened was too severe, some people don’t want to ever talk to their ex. They never want to conjure up the bad memories they had so they would prefer staying far away from all chances of ever getting any closer to each other again. If you are not using that as a chance to get back your lives then it is very fine just make sure you are not inconveniencing anyone of your partners. Remember, letting go is the best way of saying I loved you but I have to move on. laura2jos@yahoo.com