Ladies and gentlemen, I have told you this before and I am saying it one more time; that am a loving father, husband (though of many) and I try to keep my family happy.
But any person of my age, with the kind of job I do, will once in a while stray and I have fallen victim. Hopefully, my current legitimate wife Yunia does not read this.
Comrades, I am just human (like the excuse is always). It was the year of our lord 1989 when Jessica, Yunia’s long time and high school friend caught me pants down.
It was in this hotel where I was to receive a visiting former classmate from my university days at Columbia University. Johnny Turner did not make it on time and after a few beers and long waiting, I became idle and started chatting with the boss of the hotel.
The chatting went on well and she ordered more beer for both of us, before we fell into each other’s embrace high on alcohol. Soon after, we had someone banging the counter.
Hell broke loose when Jessica who had an appointment in the same hotel caught us (like shaggy says buts na….ed). She didn’t believe her eyes neither did I, and instead I sobered up shamefully. I picked courage and managed a “hi Jess”.
“Shut up you idiot” she hurled so much insults and abuses which I took in without protest given the situation.
True friends they were with my wife that she immediately cried as if I were her husband cheating on her. “Look Shooter, I did not think you could be a disgrace to yourself and you lovely wife!”
Feeling weak in my knees, my mouth dry, I tried a masterpiece with hope that I would convince her “Jess, am just drunk and human too”. she could not take anymore from this adulterous man and slapped me twice.
“Yunia is my longtime friend and she is like a sister, she has to know this, one way or the other” with the seriousness on her face, I knew she was not lying and I started to devise counter attacks that would save my soul.
“There are two options here Shooter; you either tell her yourself or I will do it for you and when it’s me to do it, am sure you won’t like it.”
Imagine telling your wife that you cheated on her!! What I had done was bad enough but telling her was a lifetime in hell and I was not ready to do that.
We both called off our encounters and went our different ways and that is when I started to put my brains to work.
“Yes I will come out of this a winner” I convinced myself.
I was home earlier than usual that day and feeling guilty. I tried to disguise with so many kisses to my Yunia. At 7:30pm, that evening, our land line telephone went crrrr… crrrr and I went straight to pick it, another unusual thing.
“Shooter, did you tell her or you need my help?” Jess started to torment me. In a loud voice I charged at her.
“Common Jess, what are you talking about?” I asked angrily and it attracted Yunia’s attention and she came close.
“Look Jess, I have told you several times that Yunia is the woman I love” I started my game. “Let me tell you one more time. I love my wife with whom l have children.”
“Please Jess I have kept quiet long enough but I will not allow you to break my love for my wife,” I continued shocking her. “I don’t love you Jess, you have continued disturbing our peace for three years now and it should end.”
Yunia pulled the phone from me “Jess all this time pretending to be my friend only to want to stub me in the back?” They both cried on the phone in disbelief.
“I don’t want to see you in my life again Jess” Yunia warned and inside me, I was jubilating in victory and that ended the whole saga and the friendship between the two women.
Yunia, I hope you don’t read this although Jessica is dead, I know you would never forgive me. But fellow men and husbands, what would you have done if you found yourself in my shoes?