The corporate bedroom battle

Modern couples have to see their marriage as a going concern or a business arrangement. That is not to say that love isn’t important but there’s a song that goes “no romance without finance, you got to have a J.O.B if you wanna be with me.”

Modern couples have to see their marriage as a going concern or a business arrangement. That is not to say that love isn’t important but there’s a song that goes “no romance without finance, you got to have a J.O.B if you wanna be with me.”

So the modern marriage in Rwanda is effectively a business contract, at the registrar the couple has to state how in case of a split they would divide their assets.

So you have modern couples who marry but this being a company, there is a need for clearly defined roles.

In our yearn to be powerful, we men often opt for the CEO position, Chief Executive Officer, the women acquiesce but take the CFO and COO position. So picture a man, executive head of the household, he wants extra funds but has to go to the Chief Financial officer to stamp his check.

If he uses the money without the pre-approval of the CFO then he’s liable to be accused of misappropriating funds.

The CFO is always carrying out an audit of funds the CEO is using, the smell of alcohol is always a dead giveaway, but the CEO claims it’s from the entertainment budget.

The CFO states that the CEO has exceeded his entertainment budget for the year and instead advises the CEO to either stop or she’ll cause a hostile takeover.

The CEO can go to the other board members, but none of them can help him because even they are reliant on the CFO’s signature.

So now the CEO is now wondering; it is too late to change the job title, so the only way is to prove that the CFO is also misappropriating funds.

This might give him some leverage in his battle for more control. An expensive pair of shoes is exhibit 1 in his body of evidence, as is the new dress and matching handbag.

The CEO calls a meeting and instructs the CFO to make cuts across the board of around 30%. When the CFO claims the budget is already stretched, the CEO unleashed the dossier on the CFO, the CEO had receipts of the items of clothing which were a lot more expensive than stated.

This gives the CEO leverage for a while, and the CFO turns a blind eye to the increase in the entertainment budget, even when the CEO comes late for board meetings reeking of alcohol.

Eventually the patience runs out, the CFO engineers a power-move, she enrols the child in a more expensive school, she abolishes his entertainment budget to increase the research and development budget.

The CEO is powerless and finds himself a mere puppet figure, gleefully rubber-stamping decisions made by the CFO, “go ask your mother” becomes his standard reply.

The CFO eventually knows just how much to give the CEO and keeps him on that level, just enough for survival to save him from himself. So my advice is when they are handing out titles, go for the CFO position.

Ends