Youth vis-à-vis sexuality
…continued from last Sunday
My innermost concern which wholeheartedly pushed me to write this article is based on the laziness of parents to further educate their children especially the teen girls about education. I do not say the boys do not also need such education. They definitely need it too.
The tide of permissiveness and corruption that engulfs this society threatens to drown all who come in contact with it. No one, however, is more vulnerable to the seduction of this materialistic society than our youth.
The corruption that affects every layer of society is causing the Rwandan parents to not only worry about the morals and abnormal behaviour of their children, but also even to fear for their well being and safety.
The tremendous pressures of living in the post-modern era, whose entire basis is founded upon values and principles contradicting our classic culture embedding our good code of conduct, is having its impact on those most liable to deviate from its straight path i.e. the Youth.
The youth, with their lack of basic moral concepts and necessary Rwandan culture, are little equipped to face the evil that confronts them from the media, in the schools and streets, and from every facet of this system.
They have no immunity. And although many parents endeavour to create an averagely ethical atmosphere in their homes and communities, this emotional environment is not sufficient to sustain the youth.
Who told the youth that abstinence is unrealistic?
I do not compel the youth to abstain from sex. Some people defend the use of condoms to allow the youth at least to enjoy the sex before marriage but with “free and safe sex” practice.
The Sandras are the protagonists of the above trend. However, the casual sex i.e. having sex with someone with whom an individual is not in a committed relationship is against morality.
I am the champion of abstinence and avoidance of sex before marriage or at least for the teens. Moreover, I am very sure it works but as we always have alternatives, instead of unwanted pregnancies that cause misunderstandings and problems in the families and the society, better a responsible and protected sex.
So, what next?
Fellow youth, do not blame the situation, the post-modern era in which you were born and growing up but there is something wrong with your (our) personality.
Do not say, “I act the way I do because of the situation I am in, while he acts the way he does because of the way he is.” Thinking that what you are doing is harmless to the society, it is double standard.
The tips to bring the youth back to the roots are very simple.
We, the adults should set good examples as role models. If attitudes like those demonstrated in the survey above are to be reversed, an open and honest dialogue between adults and youth must occur.
Opening a dialogue is not as frightening as it may seem and it doesn’t have to be the adult who starts the discussion. Teens can open the lines of communication too. As the saying goes, “talking is a two way street”.
If there is something on your mind, if you are feeling confused like Sandra or if you just need to talk, there is always some trustworthy adult willing to listen but neither the sugar daddy, mummy nor your age mate around you is an ideal person to run to.
However, your parents, your aunts and uncles, a teacher or guidance counsellor, even your grandparents - there is an adult you can turn to.
They may not like what you are saying, they may even get mad, but if you maintain your cool and stick to the topic, they will listen.
Choose an adult you know will listen before reacting, take a deep breath and make the ever so important move of “communicating”. You will be glad you did.
Please, young Sandras, never say the adults are not updated about the modern world, there is a lot to be learned by listening to adults. They have been through teen life and have the gift of retrospection in making their judgments.
They also know that the world has changed and the changes to the reality of today’s youth are very drastic.
They will listen to you and offer information rather than opinions.
Rather than thinking in terms of “I wish I hadn’t done that so I am going to forbid my child from doing it”, the parents will wonder, “What could have been said to me when I made that mistake to make me change my mind”.