During the previous weekend on Friday, I met a bitter lot at an entertainment spot. It was a group of women who insisted men were placing very high expectations on their dream dates.
A light skinned girl known as Gloria explained that apart from the standard features, women have a problem convincing men that they are worthy of their love. Now standard features is language I have only encountered when shopping for a car.
So I inquired from one of them what these standard features were. “This is what most men commonly go for,” she retorted. “Which is?” I asked timidly, not sure that I wasn’t pushing my luck.
A girl who had been quiet until then shouted, “Come on, we know you are Africans and can’t resist elephantine bottoms!” This instantly opened a torrent of qualities that men usually hold at a premium.
They range from generous boobs to shapely legs, eyes of a certain type to full lips. It emerged that practically any part of the body can earn or deny a girl points.
Now beyond the looks department, women seem to feel aggrieved by all manner of expectations. It’s fine for a man to snore but if a girl does, it suddenly becomes a major issue that would need to be urgently addressed, complained Gloria.
As if that were not enough, she must be a good dancer, smile nicely and generally hover around a man so that he can flaunt her like a prized asset or trophy.
On the home front, the woman is expected to make the best sombe and ubugali, complained Jane, “And in case you forget, you must always remember to ring him up whenever his team loses or else he turns into a real cry baby,” she added.
“You must also gauge his mood,” added Gloria. “When he seems happy, it’s advisable you dress in brilliant colors to radiate the happiness, otherwise if he is grumpy he may perceive the dress as a way to attract attention from other men.”
A woman, she added, must also be a good dancer for this indicates that she is not only healthy but agile as well. Anyone with an ID knows the importance of one being agile.
That is probably one of the non-negotiable aspects in a heterosexual relationship. “We no longer go for the men of our dreams but those we can cope with,”? Gloria complained.
Well, if all this is true, then it’s safe to assume that for a girl to land a man of admirable qualities, she must not only boast of being able to multi-task but must also rely on pure luck.