As nature or culture has it, there is this ideal man or woman everyone has in their dreams. As the hands of time tick away many women find themselves in some kind of desperation mode or a situation similar to football’s injury time. At this stage, majority of these women resort to joining church choirs, church youth seminars in the hope of the young single pastor popping out the “will you marry me question” For those who miss out on the Sunday services, they take out to the clubs hoping that the other half of men who also missed church are in the bars there looking for spouses as well. Both cases have success stories but how sure can one be on the best way of finding love. Cynthia Mukami, a pastor’s daughter who was brought up in church has always known that a husband comes from above and not unless you pray tirelessly and wait for Jesus, then you will have to dedicate your life for Christ if at all no one shows up. Mukami is now 32 and got tired of waiting for Christ ambassador ordained for her after she clocked 30. She stopped her fanatical way of relating love issues to God’s issues. Though not yet married she says that she can never get married to a staunch church goer since now she has mingled with the rest of the non believers and that’s what she wants to settle down for. Most of us flirt and don’t even know it. Flirting is a fun pastime that can raise ones self-esteem, improve social skills and bring about new relationships. Most of us might be looking too far without noticing that what is meant for us is just around the corner. Sometimes we are not able to see that one true love because we are too busy looking for someone to love us and we forget to love ourselves. The one man that your mother has always told you about; that 3 year older man who is a banker and a member of your local church choir is the ideal man that your parents expect you to take home. Ever listened to people’s stories on how they met their spouses? Not many of these stories are honest because no one wants to say that they met the woman or man of their dreams while they were both half sober. But can one really find love in the club? It’s a Friday Night and you meet this colleague of yours that you know on first name basis at your regular bar. He is alone and you decide to join him. As the night goes, both of you start wishing you had met earlier because you seem to get along so well. Before you retire to bed you notice that the last night hug has lasted longer than necessary. Weeks turn into months and the man you met in the bar still has an impact in your life. Before you know it you are in love with the one person that you very well know that it will take your second born birthday party for your mother to accept him. So we end up wasting time walking around looking for our ideal dream man but end up frustrated. Whether in the club, in church, or online, bottom line is, true love is not found anywhere, it is found from within. Accepting to love yourself truly is the only way one experiences the true essence of love. Maybe, just maybe it is about time, we learn to love ourselves a little bit more and by then, we don’t have to find love, love will find us. karuthum@gmail.com
