Recently, Henry, a friend of mine started a discussion on cross generation sex. It ended up in a long argument since he had his own ‘warped’ views on the issue. I therefore thought it imperative to also discuss it here.
Cross generation sex is a situation where older men and young girls or older women and young boys enter into a sexual relationship. Most times, on the part of the girl or boy, it’s on casual basis.
However, according to Henry, this situation is not all bad as some people think and to him it has some advantages that he feels people must also take into account.
He argues that if the relationship between the young person of say 18 years and the older one of 45 leads into marriage, it is okay.
He also argues that these Sugar Mummies and Daddies sometimes help some of the young people from poverty stricken families by giving them financial support for basic necessities and that they even sometimes go as far as paying for their education, which to him is another advantage.
To Henry, those might be reasons enough to support this act. But if we look back at the cultural values and the responsibilities that the older people had in society in ancient Rwanda, you find this not only an act of societal decadence but also a tragedy.
In ancient Rwanda, young people looked up to the older ones for parental advice and protection. But today, some have become worse than beasts.
They prowl the streets and sometimes schools in search of young boys and girls whose future they wreck instead of safeguarding.
The rate at which elderly people are moving out with children, who are sometimes three times their juniors, is alarming. This is despite government’s efforts in decrying the vice.
It’s good that police sometimes arrests the culprits but these are just the tip on the iceberg.
The children protect their ‘defilers’ and it wouldn’t be far fetched to say that sometimes, these children and sugar ‘parents’ are aided by the former’s relatives.
This is having a negative impact on the young people in all aspects ranging from making them lose focus on what they anticipate to be in future to losing their precious lives.
Consequently, some of the young people have contracted HIV and other STD’s or got unwanted pregnancies.
Simply because they cannot make their own decisions when it comes to having sex due to the fact that they are dealing with people who are senior to them and therefore dictate on them what to do.
Most sugar daddies are interested in sexual exploitation and not unwanted pregnancies; hence the girls have to abort or become single mothers which adversely affects the poor souls.
The motivations for adolescent girls to engage in sexual relationships with older men are varied and overlapping, gifts and other financial benefits are the major causes.
The motivations for financial rewards tend to be complex, ranging from economic survival to desire for status and possessions.
Whatever the motivations, a mature person should be in a better position to make the right judgement. A teenager is easily impressionable.
When that is mixed with the turbulent hormones and the search for identity, they need closer attention from parents and guardians. If this guidance is lacking, the gluttons will be lurking out there, ready to pounce.
Parents should be more vigilant in safe guarding their children but above all, society should also remember that a broken down youth will be their future community.
They shouldn’t let anyone affect their society’s future; they shouldn’t let anyone defile their youth. Report any possible cases of Cross generational relationships and sex.