HUMOUR:Rwandan birds showcased at UK Bird fair!

Mama mia!!! Here they go again!! I was perplexed when I read this screaming second headline in TNT of August 25, 2009 as I passed by a newspaper stall in town.

Mama mia!!! Here they go again!! I was perplexed when I read this screaming second headline in TNT of August 25, 2009 as I passed by a newspaper stall in town.

You may wonder why my eyes did wander to insignificant issues like newspapers instead of focusing on birds on the streets as expected.

Well, as you may know, a fellow bird hunter, one that I have come to admire quite a lot has of late been featuring prominently in different papers.

This guy who happens to be a learned friend (I am just using their term but I am not one of them, I am not a liar!) earned my deserved admiration due to his bird hunting instincts, or rather, his bird hunting style.

If you know what story I am talking about, you may recall how his rare bird hunting ways led to a line-up of amusing events that led to the involvement of Afande Maria’s blue boys.

What was amusing in the whole saga is the fact that instead of swinging into action with AK Quarante sept as usual and telling everyone at the scene of crime, “freeze! You are under arrest!” they actually hid and shot the suspects using a video camera!

This was quite ballistic and in tandem with technological trends. Come vision vinght-vinght and the boys in blue will no longer be using guns to fight crime but video cameras. Congrats our blue boys.

Trust the paparazzis to know how to take advantage of a situation but this time things did not work up to their plans and they ended up being caught in the crossfire- only that this time it was fire from a video camera.

Trust the learned friend, he emerged from the fracas unscathed and is still wrestling gallantly with remnants of paparazzi who still think they can mess with him. Man, do I admire this guy!!!

That is why whenever I pass a newspaper stall during my bird watching/hunting in town, I take off some time from my heavy schedule to peruse through the papers in case there is a story about my hero. Honestly, I am interested in knowing how he is fairing.

I wish I could be able to have a daily progress report of his weekly adventures.

Anyway, back to the story that captivated me. When I read the headline, only one thought came to my mind; turashize!!

If someone had developed the idea of exporting Rwandan birds to the UK, then only one thing was for sure. There is a conspiracy against bird hunting in this country.

Before I read the story to find out who was behind this business, I first looked into space and convened a board meeting (which is composed of me myself and I) to try and come up with a contingency plan that would help me counter this imminent threat.

One way to do this is by storming the Private Sector Federation and lodge a complaint about this planned illicit export venture.

The other one is going to the commercial court to sue whoever was planning this beforehand. I decided against the third one which entails using the British media to soil the reputation of Rwandan birds so that the aspiring businessman, whoever it is, would run bankrupt before long and throw in the towel.

But then the ramifications for such a tactic would be dire in the sense that by doing so, I would not have the businessman as my only enemy because even the Rwandan birds would gang up against me and that would be the end of my bird hunting career.

Now I would not want that to happen even in my dreams. That is why I decided to read the article and make an informed decision. But then when I read the entire article, I sighed with relief when I realized that it was talking about the stupid tiny feathered wild fowls.