RELATIONSHIPS:Trust should not be taken for granted

‘You mean you do not trust me? I did not know that you can easily suspect me for a wrong doing for the time we have been in our relationship.’ This is such one way a partner can express him or herself when suspected of a wrong act in a relationship. It doesn’t matter whether the suspicions are justified, at that particular moment, the focus will be defending oneself of not being suspicious or snoopy. In such instances, efforts must be made by both parties not to tear the relationship apart. Like I said, trust is necessary. However, sometimes it is abused and this can harm the relationship. It may be unusual to connect trust having the potential to damage a relationship since many have successfully stayed longer in relationships basing on their trust for one another. However, some people take advantage of the trust to engage in wrong actions knowing that their partner will not have any inclination to being suspicious. Judith, who is in what she believes to be a serious relationship with Michael, says she is very aware that her partner trusts her enough not to suspect her even when she ‘misbehaves’. “Even when I cheat on him, he can never believe because he has so much trust in me given the time we have been in our relationship.” He explains that for a period of 5 years, her partner has never got her in a mess; therefore he has trusted her to the extent of disclosing what other men can never. “He told me that even when I cheat on him he can never suspect or believe even if another party told him about it,” she said. To her, she is free to do any thing so long as it’s kept a secret from the partner since there is overflowing trust in the relationship. Surprisingly, Judith trusts the partner but she is aware that he can act like any other man by get another lover. “Of course, I trust him but not to the point where I think he can never cheat on,” she said, adding that she wouldn’t want to act so trusting of him since he could end up doing something unlike him. Much as some may abuse the trust, it’s always good to a certain degree of trust in a relationship if one is to stay sane. Email:bab_su@yahoo.com