…pretend to be holy. They love pretending in public and yet in private they compete with the devil itself. We in the holy month of Ramadan and our Muslim brothers are fasting as the holy Koran prescribes. I know this is a month for love but that cannot stop me from hating all those who wait for this month to remember that they actually are Muslims. When it is not Ramadan, they never pray or even follow other pillars of Islam. If you have changed, then, it is good. But if you are just putting up a show during the holy month then I am declaring a hate Jihad on you! …cannot do their work with a sense of urgency. In particular, I really hate all those waiters and waitresses who waste time yet they are always dealing with hungry or thirsty people. When you ask whether certain foods or beverages are available, the lazy waiter answers in the affirmative. Then they start making trips to inform you how the beans just got finished and so did the type of soda you had asked for. For a cup of tea, they will bring the cup and go back for the sugar, and then the spoon, bringing the flask ten minutes later. Restaurant owners, please, sack these fools just like Bourbon coffee did. …laugh at their friends as they practice a new language. We have all met someone who is, for instance, trying to learn English. This is a very encouraging development since English is the most widely spoken language in the world. However, some part time thinkers spend (read waste) time laughing at their colleagues as they try to pronounce or read some new words. Why do you have to expose your dental formula when even the Queen of England would not? As the Hater, I pray that as you laugh your tongue falls out! …shamelessly scratch their private parts in public. I get so irritated by men and women who without fear or favour go ahead to scratch their private parts in public! Hey, there is a reason we call them private parts and you can scratch them all you want in the privacy of your home not on our streets. I am told most women do it in an attempt to put the knickers back in position. I wonder why they don’t buy fitting ones in the first place. This habit is really so disgusting and ought to stop henceforth. The Hater is a very prayerful fellow and I received a vision last night where those scratching their private parts in public found them missing! …pretend to have no appetite when on a date. Without wasting time, I wish to announce my utmost hatred for the brown girl I took out for a date last Friday. When time came to take our orders she boldly told the waiter that she was ‘fine’ while I ordered for a plate of food. As soon I had started enjoying my meal, my friend’s stomach started making weird noises but her pride would not let her say the truth; that she was indeed starving! May be she thought that she was helping me save by not asking for food. Unfortunately she was only saving money for treating ulcers! It is pointless to pretend to when you are on a date with The Hater especially when love is in the air! Relax and enjoy yourself. And besides, the music in the restaurant is better than your noisy stomach. I hate that girl and all those who behave like her. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com
