Courtesy of the advent of terrestrial digital television in Rwanda, a war is brewing up in people’s homes. It has been planned and well executed in the other parts of the world and now it has come to Rwanda, beginning with an assault on the living rooms. The innovative Chinese have facilitated a Spanish invasion of Rwandans’ homes and the drama begins right around seven o’clock in the evening and it plays out in front of television screens. The bigger the family, the more fierce the encounter! Girls side with their mothers while boys go it alone as men resign to their fate, surrender to the women and leave the battlefield. They drag themselves to the bars to console each other and only return to their homes when the day’s battle has come to a close. It is not a war of swords and Kalashnikovs, but is a rare kind. It is full of senoritas and haciendas, amidst plush city South American neighbourhoods or beautiful upcountry ranches owned by filthy rich patrons with handsome sons and beautiful daughters, gracious workers. It is a war of human emotions, pure innocent love verses evil devilish jealousy, material extremities in unique clothes and plush expensive cars plus a huge dose of never-ending drama seeping out of true love and intense lust, good life and complicated death. Such is this friendly war. Girls and women may easily postpone their wedding rather than miss their daily favourite dose of adrenaline rush, a tearful half of an hour, of learning how not to be a bad lover. Children listen keenly so that they can recite the names; re-enact the scenes at school break time. People start throwing Italian names like Leonardo and Spanish titles like Senor in their conversation between difficult phrases like Gardener’s daughter, Shades of sin and Storm over paradise. Aimar becomes Mary the Mother of Jesus reincarnate; innocent, all well wishing and without fault whatsoever, then unlike in a good old kungfu movie, the main character dies before the show is over. Poster romance and ideal marriage life gets a free advertisement. Ladies start indirectly imploring their boyfriends to learn how to play a guitar or at least earn enough money that can pay a group of clowns wearing ridiculous hats, long jackets and lousy smiles to play funny songs for them – because it is very romantic. Something they call serenading! Gentlemanly behaviour starts to include crying bucketfuls of real tears every few days, or else one gets informed of a fellow called Antonio who is every woman’s dream, together with his generous load of tears. It makes kisses feel like breathing as if one would not live without one, every two seconds. All this trouble plus a lot more is what a man has to endure because, he got so bored with our only television stations and thought it a good idea to buy the digital television receiver for yourself and the family, so we can keep abreast of the news and get some worthy entertainment. If you are still lost for what to think, welcome to our world of South American soaps, the modern day successor of the soap opera. Get ready to have your life changed upside down, just because some intelligent fellows have discovered the most appropriate way to make your wife cry, without her blaming it on them and still keep her glued onto it until when the fellows see it fit to release her from that soapy spell. Otherwise, have a soapy day. kelviod@yahoo.com
