Dear Aunt Silvia,
I am a young married man with a stable job. I love my wife very much and our new born baby, but the problem with my wife is that she is very nagging and possessive.
Before we got the baby she used to accompany me every where which was very uncomfortable for me , because at times I would want to go and watch football games with my friends alone and she would be there, many times her presence caused a lot of tension.
What surprised me is that even after getting the baby, she prefers leaving the baby behind with a house help just to accompany me everywhere I go and even when we go together she is always nagging me about something.
This habit makes me very uncomfortable. What can I do?
Your spouse seems to have more than just being a nagger and possessive person. It’s more of security and personality.
People who have security issues are the ones who accompany their spouses every where they go even when they know that their presence is not needed at that particular time.
They do this to protect their spouses from any wrong doing because at the back of their minds they believe that when a partner is out there alone they are misbehaving.
These people who have the problem with their personality and security are always on the move trying to spy on their partners.
They are the same ones who go through their partner’s phone book and messages just to see if they can catch their partners cheating on them.
They will never settle down to anything for as along as their spouse is not with them, they think someone is being mischievous somewhere.
Divorces have been sought because it gets to a point where someone can not tolerate this kind of a habit coming from a partner or spouse.
Try and talk to your wife and ask her to respect your time, space and privacy just the way you respect hers. Ideally every human being should respect the freedom of the other even when the two are married.
Surprisingly, most partners with nagging issues have no bad intentions apart from needing comfort and reassurance from their partners of being loved.
Some of these characters have had very shaky lives when growing up. It’s time you told your partner that you are no longer a priority in your lives, but the baby- so you no longer need the escort services, instead she can use her energy on taking care of the baby.
Be firm but polite so that you don’t get more problems.