My husband and I have been married for the last 12 years and we are still without a child even after spending millions seeking medical advice and check ups for both of us. I heard in our old tradition that if a woman could not produce for her husband, then she was duty bound to offer a younger sister to her husband so that she produces a child for her sister. I am torn between sharing my husband with my younger sister and wanting to give my husband a child so that he too can enjoy fatherhood.
Dear Marie Therese,
Life is not all about having children, there is more to it than just that.
I know that in an African setting if a woman can’t bear children then she is looked down upon and scorned. However, you can experience the joy of parenthood with your spouse by choosing an adoption, either from a family member or even going to an orphanage to adopt one.
In this era of HIV/AIDS you cannot afford to let your spouse have multiple partners in the name of looking for a child.
How sure are you that your sister is free from any sexually transmitted diseases? What will happen if that child is born and the two of you are on your way to your graves?
Who will take care of her/him? Don’t think with your emotions and how people view you as a childless woman, you are not any lesser just because you can’t have children.
Every human being out there has something that the society has to talk about, so you are not alone in the world that is talk of the town.
Each one of us was put on earth for a purpose, and maybe your womb was not opened to bear children so that you can take care of those orphaned children somewhere waiting for you to go and take care of them.
You have to be at peace with yourself and accept the fact that you cannot bear a child of your own, but you can still have a chance to have a child by way of adoption.
If your spouse is in agreement with you concerning adoption, then waste no time.
You can refer to the bible, there are a few particular famous women whose inability to bear children in their early years made them very sad, but God was only testing their faith, like Sarah she had her son Isaac when she was very old, when you are still alive anything is possible.