RELATIONSHIPS: When the maid takes him away

In modern life, especially in the city, it is not uncommon to find that we live with house helps/maids in our houses. The house help is naturally not a part of the family but she is a very important member of the family setting. In many families, a maid may lead a more composed and confident life than even the actual family members. The maid feeds well, dresses well and with time may look so attractive to everybody including your visitors and some family members. For this reason the maid may become the star of the house as she feeds, cleans, washes clothes and cares for everyone including the lady of the house. Things however may change course when this maid focuses her care on the man of the house who ideally is your husband. I will give you a small scenario. Recently at Nyamirambo police station, a lady in her late thirties accused her housemaid of seducing her husband into having sex with her. However, twenty three year old Malta (not real names) denied the charges and instead claimed the man asked to sleep with her because the lady was always away from the home. These cases are growing everyday because the modern day woman works a full eight or more hours a day. Some even have more challenging jobs that require them to leave the country. This has led to many households looking for a maid preferably a girl who can treat the children with care. However, these initially ‘innocent’ maids may develop other ideas which may not be put down by the ‘lonely’ husband. Some Maids have literally stolen men from their wives and wives are left wondering what really went wrong. There must be things that you ignore to do to this man that the maid identified and started doing. Once these are identified, there will be no more husband snatching by maids. The man selected you among many and that is a fact. You can still exclusively own him by doing the following; Discourage direct conversation between your maid and your man. Ensure that the maid is contracted by you, paid by you and instructed by you. Try to communicate with him as many times as you can while he is at work or away. Control the dressing code of your maid to avoid provocative dressing. State this at the time of engagement. Love your husband and express it at all times. Cook for him whenever possible. Serve him personally and welcome/encourage him to eat. Identify what your husband likes most and take time to feed him on that. Do not embarrass your husband in front of your maid. In case of differences, confront him in private away from children and maids. Be intimate to your husband. Intimacy flavors your marriage. Do not let your fire for this man die away. However on the other side men should respect their wives and control themselves. They should be patient and communicate to their wives frequently about the state of their relationships. The same situation of restraint should also be practiced by boys in the family. dedantos2002@yahoo.com