For all of you out there who thought you had steered clear away from sin all your life, well…, bad news. The Vatican has just updated its sin list to include drug dealing, genetic manipulation, pollution and social injustice.
The writing is on the wall; joining the capitalistic band wagon (accumulating wealth) will not open the gates of Heaven unless everyone can claim a place on Forbes’ list.
Our holy men are saying that letting the gap between the rich and the poor get wider is calling for the wrath of the Almighty upon you because it "causes an unbearable social injustice".
It seems we have not been reading the scriptures because the warning has been there all along against excessive wealth.
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:24), Jesus is said to have told his disciples.
This passage just muddles a layman like myself because I remember another parable where he talked of a rich man entrusting his property (money) to three servants.
Two of them multiplied what he had left them and earned his praises and possibly a raise. But the third buried it in the ground and gave it back to his master without earning any interest and he was fired. Then Jesus gave this chilling warning:
"For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him". (Matthew 25:29).
So, when I tell you I am confused by the teachings in my quest to squeeze through the eye of the needle, you understand my dilemma.
The church is not making things any easier and believers have to go hi-tech in order to keep up. We are like old computers which need regular upgrades to have any chance of competing with new brands.
"Traditionally the Catholic Church has had a list of seven deadly sins, that of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride established by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century," reads a report by the Associated Press (AP).
So going by the above, getting rich is not the problem; not trying to is asking for trouble. Sloth (laziness) is a deadly sin that could see you burn in that red-hot furnace tended by Lucifer (by the way, why is he always depicted as black and male?)
Going by the latest updates, Rwanda seems to be on the right track in receiving a clean bill of health, the only spoilsport is the small number of drug users and an equally smaller number of tycoons.
Our war on plastic bags and low level of industrialisation (close to zero carbon emissions) is sure to add credit and make good reading on judgment day.
Forget about human genetic manipulation. We are still very safe in the cloning department, though I’ve heard that our scientists at the National Agricultural Research Institute (ISAR) can hold their heads up high when it comes to manipulating the genetic structure of potatoes.
But the news is not so good in the Obama-Clinton backyard. Not only are they the worst polluters, they have even turned their water supply into the world’s biggest pharmacy.
Media reports this week talk of millions of homes having been contaminated because their drinking water was found to contain residues of medical prescriptions.
It seems the drugs were excreted by patients and flushed down the toilet and then seeped into the water supply of 24 major cities. The State that got the biggest dose is Pennsylvania where 56 different pharmaceuticals were found. They range from antidepressants, antibiotics, sex hormones and anticonvulsants.
The media as usual did their own kind of "manipulation" and could not hide their glee when New York’s Governor, Eliot Spitzer, was caught up in a sex scandal which involved a high priced prostitution ring.
The Governor was regarded as squeaky clean and had been elected on a ticket to fight corruption and other vices.
Now the media have found a reason why Mr Clean succumbed to temptation and spent thousands of dollars on a call girl named Kirsten; his drinking water was contaminated by sex hormones!