Tell your father about your situation

When one’s mother dies and another woman takes over her position in the name of a step-mum, life becomes a hassle and seemingly oppressive.

Dear counsellor,
my mother passed away a year ago, and my father remarried after six months. From that time things started changing, as my step mum started taking radical decisions on how we live. Recently she told me to get ready to move to a cheaper school because my current school is expensive. I Am afraid changing schools now will affect my performance. My Dad is abroad, and I don’t know what to do. Please help. Kasandra

Joyce Kirabo

When one’s mother dies and another woman takes over her position in the name of a step-mum, life becomes a hassle and seemingly oppressive. Some step-mothers even make deliberate efforts to ruin the lives of the step children once they take over the marriage. Consequently, moments of helplessness, frustration and despair may often re-emerge, especially at the hands of such bad step-mother. Nevertheless how long you take to pick up the broken pieces of your soul and return to normal life is important. This is your step-mother and she came to stay. Her suggestion for you to switch school especially when your father is able to give the necessary support isn’t ideal because research shows a negative correlation between student academic achievement and school switching, leading to academic failure in the long run.


You need to recognise that your family was slightly torn apart by the death of your mother and learn to make great sacrifices, and forge a head against all odds and transform your current embattled and ravaged situation into an increasingly prosperous and powerful new life thus opening completely new horizons for your future academic success. The only way to get rid of her submission of switching school is to maintain constant communication with your father abroad and explain to him the dangers of switching school. Your father should be made to understand that, when you change school, the study routines will be disrupted as the pace of comprehension slows to accommodate new teachers, new methodologies and new content plus the general environment which may involve a learning curve for you as a new student. Discuss this issue constantly with your father and also approach some close family friends and relatives to help you voice out your concerns with a kind approach. Each time you stand up to strikes out agains
t a hard situation; you pave way for endless progress and happiness for your greater tomorrow.


At this moment, you’re a vulnerable child and she has a greater influence on your life, your father’s decisions and ultimately your academic progress. You need to respond carefully to her distressing actions before she stages her offensive to harm you academically, physically or psychologically. Loyalty can play a big role here. Stand your balance, keep your loyalty and stay centered to keep the communication line with her and with your father abroad and only a brave and courageous child knows how to do that with elegance. You need to identify those particular flaws that instigate this kind of behavior and work towards resolving one by one. Your actions should speak the magical and unity language and pull her closer to you. If your father learns about your obedience, he may decide that you stay in one school.


You have to emerge resilient from such trails and tribulation and look at your studies as the only safest and sure-deal escape route away from the hands of such a disparaging step-mother. Every aspect of your life will change for the better as you constantly communicate to your father and convince him about the drawbacks of switching school and he’d persuade his wife to let you continue with your studies in the current school. You’ll soon finish school and live a completely independent and happy life.


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