Of the many bad character traits I have been accused of possessing, the most consistent one has been emotionlessness. But I swear I’m not unfeeling. I care very much about the people in my life.
And I don’t cheat anyone or on anyone.(Why did I add that part about not cheating on anyone? I’m alone. Smh.)Bottom line is I think of myself as a good person. I feel angry about injustice. I lie only to children (because who doesn’t?)
Anyway, based on my self-assessment,I think people accuse me of being emotionless only because I don’t express or act on feelings with as much reckless abandonment of common sense as some people do.
I care but only to the extent that my self-love, my dreams and dignity are left intact at all times. So of course I don’t fight for love physically or otherwise. I have a strong ability to let go.I can will myself into feeling nothing. And I can’t count the ways in which this attitude has saved me from bad choices and heartbreak.
You see, emotions are overrated.Love.Anger.Excitement.Heartbreak.They always sound important but they are temporary. But the actions or reactions associated with emotions are not only permanent but sometimes detrimental.
Somewhere in a dingy prison cell is a man who took another person’s life in a moment of boiling rage. In one of the graves lies a woman who took her own life because she was overcome by heartbreak over a relationship gone sour.This is what emotions and being overly emotional can do.
In each of the abovementioned circumstances, an ‘unfeeling’ person has the ability to walk away. To think to him/herself, “this person is not worth my energy.” Or “My life does not revolve around one person.” To practice a little pride and selfishness.
Knowing this, why should I give so much power to people or feelings? When has doing that ever been good for anyone? Do I want to end up on the news for being the local woman that set her ex-boyfriend’s house ablaze? Or the source social media amusement for being involved in hair-pulling over a man? No thanks.
I’d rather be the woman that is constantly accused of being such a man at heart.Although I don’t even know why people associate emotionlessness with masculinity.It’s unfair and very constraining.
Of course, I’ll admit that there are some downsides to being a little deprived of emotions. I have on some occasions lost potential suitors over lack of excitability. I try to act surprised or impressed sometimes to preserve people’s feelings but I always do it a moment too late and my acting is not in anyway convincing.
But other than that I can promise you attaching little importance to feelings is excellent. I look at people in my high tower of emotionless bliss and judge them for their actions. I say, “Think, human being, think!” And then I sip on my tea and feel good about myself.