I’m not a big Beyoncé fan but I respect her all the more now. She and her Destiny’s Child bandmates had a string of hits years ago including Bills, Bills, Bills, Independent Women and Survivor. Google them if this is News to you.
I was reminded of those songs when I first heard about Nigeria’s President, Muhammadu Buhari’s infamous comments about how his wife Aisha belongs to his kitchen, his living room and the other room.
I was offended and I’m not even Nigerian but as a woman, to see another woman, a First Lady at that, degraded so publicly angered me. The President’s PR Machine attempted to make light of the comments after they sparked criticism, saying it was all a joke but I think we all know better.
Those were calculated words. That’s how he sees his wife and if I were her, I would have packed up and left. You have to draw the line sometimes and I know what some of you are thinking. “For better or worse, through good and sad times…” Well, I’ll tell you this.
Marriage is about becoming one. What’s his becomes yours and vice versa and if he knew that, he would never have uttered those words. I still can’t believe he did, and with a straight face! I tried to make excuses for him, thinking that maybe it was jet lag.
Or perhaps he thought that because he was far away in Germany, the people back home wouldn’t get wind of it despite the presence of several media people, ironically at a joint press conference with one of the world’s most powerful women, German Chancellor Angela Merkel who also appeared shocked by what she had just heard.
I wish she had called him out right there. “No sir, you will not talk about women like that in my country.” Sadly, sexism is alive and well, and many people may not say certain things but they are thinking them.
US Presidential contender Donald Trump was crucified for his comments about groping women and dismissing them as locker room banter but he’s right. Men do talk about sex a lot.
They talk about money, politics and sports too but their sexual exploits are way up there too and if you’ve been around men, you know this already. At the risk of sounding like Trump, here’s my advice to Mrs Buhari. Girl, you’re hot.
Find a new man. One who respects you and values your opinion. I guess the lesson for girls and women around the world is that don’t sit back and wait on your husband to “provide”. Do you think if Aisha was truly independent her husband would have made those remarks? I don’t think so.
I almost forgot about another incident that I think should have drawn ire but somehow didn’t. If you follow the NBA, you know Steph Curry and probably heard about the Media fallout after his wife Ayesha Curry suggested that the NBA is rigged and that the Referees were biased against her husband and his team, Golden State Warriors during last Season’s NBA Finals.
Steph’s response when asked about the controversy later was, “I might have to cut the Wifi off at my house.” Tell me that’s not sexist! “Cut the Internet off so she can’t spend time on Social Media” is what I drew from his remarks. All I saw was a supportive wife trying to defend her husband and Steph could have just said “no comment.”