Once, I was a people-pleaser. I could never speak my mind for fear of controversy or being disliked. People praised me and called me a good person. A humble person.
All would have been fine and good but then my ‘humility’ turned me into a doormat. By the time I realized this, I had a boyfriend who lied to my face and made me feel bad for calling him out on it. I had friends who expected me to make sacrifices that they could never make for me.
So I started standing up for myself and speaking out. I started saying no. As expected, people accused me of becoming a bad person. A proud person. Because apparently, being proud is a bad thing.
But pride is not bad. And the truth is that most times when people accuse you of being proud, they are just accusing you of not giving them space to walk all of you. They are accusing you of loving yourself enough to set standards and draw boundaries.
See the commonest flaw in all human beings is selfishness. Selfishness is the reason why a girl will lead a guy on. Because being wanted satisfies her self-esteem. Selfishness is the reason why people lie, cheat and steal. It’s the reason why countries are at war.
Selfishness is so ingrained in our human nature that some people’s good deeds are actually motivated by it. For example, a parent will pay tuition for his child to do a ‘good’ course just so he can brag to his peers about it.
So we are living in a world of self-seeking people and if you want to survive it, pride is a good weapon to have.
From instance, I have observed that people who have some pride are not popular but they are treated with more respect than those who have no pride.
In my opinion, you’d rather be respected than loved because once again owing to human selfishness, love is conditional. At best, people will show you affection based on how you make them feel.
So if you want to avoid wasting your emotional energy on people that are not good to you, pride is your friend. It will prevent you from selling yourself short. From settling.
I swear, a lot of times pride has been the only thing standing between me and a bad decision. From calling a good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend to tell him that I miss him. From being in a friend-zone.
Also, having pride makes you bold because you don’t make decisions based on what people. This attitude is especially great if you want to pursue a dream.
In retrospect, pride is not bad. If you use it well, it can be a wall of protection from accepting to live the one life you’ve been given in mediocrity.
It can prevent you from being one of those people who keep things bottled up and then one day they just lose it and burn their own homes down.