Personality over ethnicity

My friend Patricia is hoping to get married this year. No, she is not one of those sad desperate women who are hoping that the universe will deliver a man who wants a wife before 2017. She actually has a wonderful fiancé who wants to marry her this year.

My friend Patricia is hoping to get married this year. No, she is not one of those sad desperate women who are hoping that the universe will deliver a man who wants a wife before 2017. She actually has a wonderful fiancé who wants to marry her this year.

So what’s the problem? The problem is that Patricia “foolishly went around falling for strangers. We won’t allow strangers in our home.” Those were her father’s words. 

 

Patricia and Brian (her fiancé) have known each for five years. He is couth. He is gentle. He is kind. He is smart. He is more. But he is a stranger because his tribe is different from hers. Her parents won’t give consent.

 

We have now wiped enough tears to start a middle-sized oral rehydration solution company. 

 

And that brings me to my rant. 

What is wrong with us humans? When will we evolve enough to outgrow the kind of small-mindedness that compels us to form attitudes about people based on colour, ethnicity or tribe? When will we be enlightened enough to stop making general snide racial remarks based on one person’s actions? 

I mean it’s the 21st century but still, we will accept or reject someone based on an aspect of their life that they didn’t even choose? In this day and age we still treat human beings as…“if you have seen one, you have seen them all?”

And why do we humans even take so much pride in belonging to a certain race or ethnicity or gender to begin with? Do any of those things inherently dictate our character traits or level of intelligence or success? 

Indeed, George Calin, an American stand-up comedian (RIP) once said, “I could never understand ethnic pride.

Because to me pride should be reserved for something you achieve or attain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth.”

Dear Patricia’s father, if you come across this rant kindly reconsider your actions. I’m not courageous enough to tell you off in person, and no, it’s not because my people are all cowardly. Okay some of them are but it is not a general thing. 

Anyway, as I was saying, I know you are not in a hurry to give your daughter away. She is young and extravagantly beautiful. You don’t want her to be with strangers but please just do it. 

Do it for yourself. Do it before you turn into my mother who at this point will be happy to see me bring home a homeless three-eyed person as long as he is a man. Okay I’m exaggerating but you get the point. 

But most importantly, do it because that ‘stranger’ you speak of has the kind of impeccable character that most people in this generation (and yours), no matter their tribe do not attain in their lifetime. Shouldn’t personality (not bloodline) be the yardstick for measuring a person’s worth?

After all, at the end of the day, a person’s life is defined by their actions and choices, not the color of their skin, ethnicity or place of birth. End of rant.

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