Over the weekend, I went to visit Roland. Roland and I have been friends for almost a decade now. We bonded over attending single sex schools and now he is like a big brother to me. Yes, I recognize the corniness of the statement. And I guess this is the part where I point out that I’m one of those people who believe that women and men can be just friends. Close friends even. I know you may be thinking that it’s always only a matter of time but believe me, there are exceptions…many exceptions in my case. Some of my friends even consider me to be ‘one of the guys.’ Oh my God, is this why I’m still single?!I’m not being “girl enough”, society’s definition of being a girl, I mean?? Is that it?? Should I start being more soft spoken and add color to my emotions which are currently colorless and therefore invisible to the naked eye? Should I start to want to get flowers? Should I start watching telenovelas without rolling my eyes at the terrible acting and predictability of the stories? This is definitely something to think about. Anyway, back to Roland. Roland is over a decade older than I am and he, as they say, has his life together. He has a great wife, a wonderful job and a great son that he was nice enough to let me be a godmother to. His family is an oasis in this desert of fragmented households. Still, Roland has never been one of those married people who pitifully look down on single people and nag them about their status. He believes in making a well-thought choice or even none at all. I love him for that. But last weekend, an hour after we said good night, I overheard Roland speaking on the phone. I didn’t want to eavesdrop but then he mentioned my name. And naturally, when someone mentions your name, your sense of hearing acquires a supernatural height. I’m sure Roland thought I was asleep. He didn’t count on the fact that sometimes, for hours after I go to bed, I stare at the ceiling. I stare at the ceiling so that if God looks down, he will look in my eyes and see what has become of my husbandless life. I know God is omnipresent but when you spend your whole life seeing people point up when they speak of God, it becomes part of you and it’s hard to unlearn. Anyway, Roland was telling someone, a guy I’m sure, about me. He told this guy about all my attributes, being careful to leave out the bad ones of course. He told the guy that he thinks that that guy and I would make a good couple. Now I’m sure Roland means well. But he did it stealthily which means he thinks I have now hit a new low. To him, I have gone from being just single to being single and in need of help finding a man. I’m now being advertised. But why me Lord?
