I hate people who...

I admit I love good food but I hate people with lousy mealtime manners. I often meet some of these jokers whose brains were long replaced with vegetables.

…make fools of themselves while serving food at a buffet. I admit I love good food but I hate people with lousy mealtime manners. I often meet some of these jokers whose brains were long replaced with vegetables.

At a buffet you are likely to find that fellow who thinks there’s a medal for having the heaviest plate. He feels he will lose points if he doesn’t get something from each serving dish. Such people will put so much food on the plate that by the time they put soup it just leaves in protest and settles on their cheap shoes.

Sometimes these jokers will realise much later that they can barely see anything beyond the mountain of food on their plate blocks their view. These are the same people likely to choke on food and die an embarrassing gluttonous death.

…blame all their short comings on being drunk. Granted we are all human beings and at any one time we are bound to make mistakes. However I can’t stand those who think being drunk is a get out of jail card.

You know those annoying fellows who always say, ‘Oh you know I had taken some alcohol’ whenever you point out their behavioural shortcomings. It is as this alcohol they blame just fell like rain and penetrated their skins and made them drunk without their knowledge.

By the way even when Jesus changed water to wine he did not add that those who consume alcohol should go ahead and be a nuisance. If you cannot stay responsible after a few drinks I suggest you stick to drinking mineral water because laws do not exempt your behaviour based on what you have imbibed.

…are very slow when it comes to serving customers in a restaurant. We’ve all been in this excruciating situation where you go to a restaurant and you are treated like a piece of furniture. You are ignored for ages and when eventually someone shows up to take your order they begin to bring one item at a time in between long intervals.

These annoyingly hesitant waiters and waitresses can make you so angry that you even change your orders after waiting for ages for the food you ordered, the next time you see a waiter you are compelled to change your order from food to a person. So instead of food you ask for the manager. For some reason the classic answer is often that the manager is not around just like most of the things on the menu.

…perennially borrow petty cash and never pay it back. During these tough economic times, some people cannot escape appearing in this space. Take for example that annoying friend of yours who is always asking you for small amounts of money but never pays back a single coin.

They never ask for anything more than Rwf1000 but keep doing this almost on a weekly basis without ever paying back the amounts borrowed or returning the favour. I have one such friend and I have been compiling all the small amounts this joker has got from me and it is now about Rwf76,450 which is not little money.

Since I see no hope of getting this money back, I have resorted to regularly visiting this guy at lunch time so I can at least get back what he has taken, in form of food. After which I will unfriend him not on Facebook but real life.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293