NEXT WEEK’S PROBLEM: Why is he reluctant to date me?

Dear counselor, I’m 31 and have really not had a ton of experience on the dating scene. I had a serious boyfriend for a while before things fell apart… after which my life sort of fell apart too!

Dear counselor,

I’m 31 and have really not had a ton of experience on the dating scene. I had a serious boyfriend for a while before things fell apart… after which my life sort of fell apart too!

The bottom line is that I haven’t seriously tried to seek romance for a while now, with very little to choose from in the form of desirable dates. So I’ve tried my luck online, and incredibly enough, I found someone and started chatting with him. He and I have similar interests, and I’m starting to like him.

Here’s the thing, though. He’s pretty nervous about taking our relationship, or whatever it is, off-line. He says he’s had a friend, who had a truly awful experience as a result of meeting someone online, and besides, we’re not in the same country and there’s that whole thing with long-distance relationships.

Now, this should set off warning flags, and I’ve been paying very close attention to our chats. If he’s lying, though, he’s very, very good at it, because I haven’t been able to catch him, and we’ve been chatting for a long time, about a year now.

So do I try to force things? Do I just give up and never contact him again? Neither of those sounds like a great choice, quite frankly. I mean, why would he be chatting with me for a year if he was lying or trying to con me? Hopefully you can offer some good suggestions on what to do.

Carol

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