Questions you must never ask a lecturer

Well, you are free to ask the question but what I can’t guarantee is if you will still be in the queue for free and fair marking after these questions. Here are some of them;

Well, you are free to ask the question but what I can’t guarantee is if you will still be in the queue for free and fair marking after these questions. Here are some of them;

Can you operate that machine?

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If he (an engineering lecturer) could operate it in real life other than theories he keeps speaking of, would he be wasting his time lecturing for peanuts? He would definitely be a consultant working on that exact machine and making much more than what he earns as a lecturer. Ask that question and a low grade awaits you for reminding him of his failure.

Sir, please say that again, I didn’t understand

English isn’t a problem faced by only students, some lecturers are even worse. Instead of saying airport, they will say hair-pot and by the time you understand what they are talking about, the lecture is almost half way done. Insist on understanding and making him repeat himself and that is it for you to suffer for later.

What if we calculated it like this instead?

The professor crammed and rushed through university with a first class, now you want to share an alternative that he has never seen or heard of. The best response you will get is chasing you out of class because you are disorganising and delaying everyone. My friends, the moment you see him fumbling, keep your mouth shut.

Are we allowed to use what the other professor taught us?

Don’t make the lecturer feel like you are opting for an easier technique than the one he taught you. The lecturer wants to think and pretend to know that he has the best lecturing techniques. Use his techniques or fail, it doesn’t really matter if your answer is correct, it isn’t about the answer, it’s about whose formula it is.

Can we push the test to next week?

You might as well ask them to set the test that very day. The moment they realise you aren’t ready, they will do anything just to watch you squirm and sweat. There is no happier moment than when the professor looks at everyone’s confusion at a test they weren’t prepared for.

What did you aspire to become while in high school?

He will say he wanted to be a professor but deep down, he envies his classmates that are now doctors, engineers and business men. If you go ahead to ask him what else he does apart from making student’s lives miserable, he has nothing. And he will hate you for reminding him about his misery. Don’t do it.

campusinspector@newtims.co.rw

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