My 25-year-old younger sister returned from Nairobi where she was pursuing a degree. She has always been the independent type and I always admired her for acting more mature than her age.
She came back after completing her studies, got a part time job that pays well and proceeded to rent her own place. I rarely visited her but I heard that she has a boyfriend and it was fine with me. I thought that maybe she would tell me when she was ready and so I didn’t bother her.
However, I recently went to spend a night at her place and I found her boyfriend there. Although I was told that he is a marketing executive, when we spoke, he seemed clueless about marketing.
On further probing, I noticed weird habits about him and decided to do my own investigation. I later found out that he does drugs and even sells them. I tried to talk to my sister but she wouldn’t listen. I’m afraid to tell our parents because I don’t know what their reaction will be like. I don’t want to be the one to spoil her relationship but I can’t let her continue with something potentially dangerous. What should I do?
The counselor’s thoughts...
A woman who is a prime candidate for marriage has to make good dating choices. There is insecurity within every human being, and getting trapped in a bad relationship can happen to anyone. However, it’s time to apply your natural intelligence and save your sister from getting involved in such a toxic relationship.
Although it’s difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating, romantic relationships can be wonderful with the right person. A relationship with the wrong individual however can lead to years of heartache, emotional/social damage, and even physical damage. Toxic relationships can damage us, our loved ones, and even the way we feel about love and romance in the future, turning what is supposed to be a loving, supporting, and understanding relationship into the “fatal attraction”.
A variety of “bad choices” may be encountered quite often, most of which are easy to identify and avoid. As a matter of concern, sit down with your sister with clear evidence and show her why it it’s risky to have this man for a husband, we all know to avoid people that appear insane or abusive and not select them as a dating partner.
Although he might hide his illicit behaviour, it will be wise that you try your best to pin point at such issues because it will have a very devastating implication on your sister’s life in future and you will be blamed if it’s discovered you knew but did nothing to warn her keep out of such trouble.
He loves drugs and himself. He will not love her forever. Would you want a guy like him to be your in-law? Do you want this selfish drug addict to be the father to your niece or nephew? No one deserves a guy like this. He is an ultimate loser who will soon spend the next five to ten years in prison or wind up dead! He is definitely unworthy to be the son-in-law to your precious family and the earlier you act, the better your sister keeps away from imminent trouble.
Your feedback: Readers advise Gerald
What is important to you?
You should choose what is of more value to you. A sister who will soon to be arrested for being an accomplice to drug dealing or being the one to end a relationship that is doomed anyway? She is your sister and you only get to have her in your life once. Take care of her.
Turn to God
Don’t waste a lot of time beating yourself up for making the right decision for your sister; this is a decision to make and you should take it. That is the reason why you are older, so please act like it.
Mind your own business
Your sister thinks he is right for her. She has her reasons and maybe it is best you leave it that way. Who says your investigation was based on facts? Maybe you are wrong and denying your little sister the chance to be happy. Please mind your own business.
Save her from that disaster
Love is blind. We all know that. Sometimes blind love leads to destruction. Pray about it and God will surely use you to make the right decision. He will give you the means to save your sister from that disaster of a man.
Find out if she is a part of it
Maybe she is also involved. How would you know? Be very careful before acting otherwise you might get your sister in trouble or imprisoned. It is critical but you have to get her out of this in a cunning way.
She is in trouble
Drug dealers have so many issues with them. Sometimes, it even gets to shootings. You might lose your sister if you don’t act as soon as possible. It is your time to save her so please don’t waste time, her life is on the line.
It might be nothing
Don’t try to end something because of a rumour you heard. People make up stories all the time.
Talk to her
She can’t refuse your advice unless she knows what she is in for. Let her learn her lesson.
If something isn’t giving you sleep at night, why let it go on? She is your blood, protect her like nothing else.
Get her away from him
Your little sister is in great danger. Get her out before you lose her. You shouldn’t even be asking this right now.
You need evidence
I think you need to look into this matter deeply and not base your worries on rumours. What if you find out they are all lies? Get him to talk about his place of work. If he is lying, he will dodge the subject. Talk to friends of his, someone is always bound to “spill beans”. And then when you have enough evidence, talk to him and let him know that you know his situation and that you will not let your sister get involved with him. If he loves her, he will change his ways.
Get the facts
Whatever decision you take, make sure you have properly affirmed that it is the truth. Don’t let your assumptions affect a relationship.
There’s no smoke without fire
The fact that he gave you the impression something was not right with him is enough to go by. Normally your gut tells you evetything you need to know. And if you have that feeling (including word that he is in fact a drug dealer), you need nothing esle. Talk to her about it, and if she doesn’t listen, dig deeper into his life until you find concrete evidence. All the best.
Go to the Police
The Police is your friend. You better do it or your parents will do it for you. Better to keep it on the low by doing it yourself.