I used to watch pornography a lot but now even in married life, I find it difficult making love without first watching porn. It is like part of my foreplay now. I am worried my life is wasted. Is there a way I can clear these things from my head?
You seem to be affected by porn induced sexual dysfunction. It is a problem affecting many young men presently. After watching pornography for long time, they tend to get sexually impotent in a way. Normally desire for sex in the brain is aroused by watching or listening to something that stimulates it. The sexual organs are activated afterwards. With porn, the brain is over flooded with high intensity of arousal. This makes once and few times for high levels of experience, which individuals repeat often. But when overwhelmed, the incoming and outgoing neuronal impulses of the brain no longer respond as readily. Thus, the organs are also not prepared resulting in impotence. Such individuals become potential customers of companies selling sex enhancement drugs and testosterone supplements to enhance virility. Over time, even sex stimulating drugs like viagra also fail to help. If one is with computers all time, keeping laptop on laps, that can also lead to sexual impotence. Being sedentary and becoming obese contributes to it in a small way.
Moreover, watching porn gives one imaginary idea and fantasies about sexual performance. If that is not met practically, he feels disappointed thinking something is lacking, thus failing to achieve even arousal. Healthy and natural sex with an intimate partner cannot compete with porn sex. Sex is a personal, individual thing, with every individual having different stimuli and threshold levels for arousal and achieving orgasm.
Best way is avoid seeing porn. Try to see something useful and informative or with healthy entertainment. Avoid being with computers all time and putting laptop on laps. Healthy balanced diet with exercise and avoiding alcohol (alcohol also causes sexual impotence) keeps body physically fit
Spend some time in outdoor group games along with physical activities like walking, jogging, among others. Take up some useful creative activity in leisure time. Read good literature before bed time. All these will help your mind to be off sex for the day. At night when you are with your wife, a relaxed atmosphere, clean bed, some romantic conversation, foreplay like hugging and kissing all will add on and help you to perform well sexually.