I’m curious...is my teacher flirting with me? I’ve been in his class for two years; I always stop by his room before school starts to say hi out of courtesy like I do with other teachers. He pokes my arm at times and jokes with me.
One day I didn’t stop by his room, and he asked if we were still friends. I just smiled and laughed. We joke a lot, and he stands close to me, but not like “your in my bubble and I’m uncomfortable” close, just closer than my other teachers. He has dropped me home and we’ve sort of hung out at school events like sporting events.
One time he gave me a shirt to wear because it was cold and another time he gave me his sweatshirt to wear because it was rainy. I told one of my friends and she said it was weird. He worries about me on days when I’m quiet and I don’t speak in class. He will ask me if something is wrong, and before I can respond he’ll say let’s talk about it, you can tell me anything. Is he crossing the line or am I mistaking his genuine courtesy as flirting?
The counselor’s thoughts...
Dear Rebecca, it is true that every student enjoys the good fortune of having a conducive teacher/learner relationship in a school environment. However, it’s also very evil and virtually outlawed for any teacher to express signs of romantic feelings under any circumstance to his own learners. If this teacher genuinely likes you, probably as a bright and well disciplined girl, then this is even more exciting and academically promising but the extent of poking your private body and inviting you to his private room, portrays to any lay person, a picture that is more romantic than academic.
As an upright student, you’re endowed with a significant quality of moral conscience to preserve your self dignity and exercise your power of assertiveness with in your mandate to intercept any such barbaric acts with all hidden motives of destroying your bright future. Some teachers are fully equipped with the habit of falling in love with their own learners regardless of the legal moral, ethical and professional principles that totally prohibits such actions. As a matter of concern, your task as a good student is therefore to concentrate on your academics as you watch out closely for any further romantic expressions that this teacher may continue advancing to you and prepare a strategy that will tactfully evade such life temptations.
To combat this, you should pick courage and approach him in a respectful manner, look him straight in the eyes and tell him, “Sir, I respect you and I am honoured by your closeness and concern about my wellbeing in this school, but certainly your unusual acts of poking and modeling yourself with suggestive love expressions tend to threaten my efforts towards academic excellence to achieve my future dreams.”
If he insists or even threatens to give you a bad grade, report him to your parents with enough evidence so that they link up with the responsible school authorities for appropriate disciplinary measures to rectify the situation.
Your future is potentially bright with marvelous opportunities to sail you to all sorts of fantastic life styles than this teacher’s shortlisted romantic expressions which are capable of ruining that seemingly bright future.
Your feedback:Readers advise Rebecca
Stop ‘hanging’ with him
Prince Shema Mujyemana
I would advise you to stop hanging with your teacher and keep a distance from him. If the teacher insists on pursuing your, then you should report him to the concerned authorities and they will deal with the problem accordingly.
It is inappropriate
It’s too inappropriate. First of all the teacher is not professional at all. I would advise you to talk to the teacher and sort out your problems, but that is if you are not imagining that the teacher has a crush on you.
Report the matter now
You should report the matter to the school’s management and if they don’t act on it, then you should involve your parents and other levels of help. Also, try to avoid the teacher in every way possible.
If you are of age, then what’s the problem?
I would advise you to talk about it with the teacher because I can see you, maybe, also have a crush on the teacher. The problem is that you did not tell us how old you are but if you are older than 19, I do not see a problem with your relationship. But if you are younger than that, it is a huge problem.
He is crossing the line
The teacher is crossing the line and flirting with you definitely. The poking of your arm is inappropriate and you should tell him off if you are uncomfortable because it seems you are leading him on. Courtesy is out of the question because it looks like he is doing that to only you and not with other students in the school. The shirt issue is also crossing the line through and through.
Vox pop by A. Agaba
You need to complete your studies
It depends on how old you are and how old your teacher is. If you are mature then wait and fall in love with the teacher after completing school since you suspect that there is something going on. In the meantime, avoid situations that expose you to the teacher because good things come to those who wait.
If you have doubt, run!
Izela B Medhanie
If your teacher is doing the same things your friends would normally do then he is crossing the line. If you are sharing clothes, he is crossing the line, unless of course you are bleeding or injured in some other way. If you are ‘hanging out’ then you are both definitely crossing the line. If any of your friends think his behaviour is weird.
That is a red alert. You are crossing the line. Are you asking the question? Don’t. If in doubt, run. Better to be safe than sorry.
He wants to use you
I think the teacher is playing games with you. Some men are just like that; they want to use girls and dump them later. You should know that if another girl comes around, he will run after her.
Don’t show interest
You should not show any interest whatsoever and you should keep your distance from the teacher. If he persists on pursuing you, then report the matter to the authorities.
You are leading him on
I would advise you to focus on your books and report the teacher to the principal as he may ruin your life. But it also seems it’s your fault because you keep on giving him time and sending wrong signals.
Get to know him
Flora Pierre Uyisenga
First of all, you should find out if he is married and if he is interested in marrying you because sometimes a man is genuine. You need to takeyour time to get to know the man well because you may rush in a relationship and end up in problems.