Ask the counselor: I don't get along with my boss

My boss is very young (24) and new to the job but not new to the workplace, she's worked here three years. She's good at her job, is lucky to have it at her age, and I don't dislike her.Though she's not a bully, if I don't say hi first she won't talk to me unless its work related, which is up to her I know but she talks to 90 per cent of the other colleagues, all ages.

My boss is very young (24) and new to the job but not new to the workplace, she’s worked here three years. She’s good at her job, is lucky to have it at her age, and I don’t dislike her.Though she’s not a bully, if I don’t say hi first she won’t talk to me unless its work related, which is up to her I know but she talks to 90 per cent of the other colleagues, all ages.

She will never ask how I am or make small talk with me like she does with others. I have tried to have a conversation with her but I only get one word answers or “fine”. So now I only talk if she does, which is rare. I’m good at my job, have been there a while and get along with other people. I like my job and my colleagues. But my boss and I just don’t “click” and I feel like she senses this, which makes me even more uncomfortable. What can I do? A friend suggested I find another job but I don’t want to leave. I just want things to get better.

Salma, Gacuriro

The counselor’s thoughts...

If efficiency at work and its potential benefits is the barometer for employee performance, then a good relationship with the leadership is its second skin. At the heart of all the issues surrounding this unhealthy relationship with your boss, communication is the most powerful weapon to break all these barriers. As a matter of concern, you’re being wise to detect such an improper working relationship with your boss and this is easy to overcome if you offer to invest some effort in trying to secure yourself a more friendly interaction and mutual connection with her.

First attempt to establish the cause of her negative attitude towards you as you discover the hidden secret your colleagues have to attract her attention. Once this is established, it will give you a dynamic roadmap on how to get about strategising your actions that will draw her closer to you and certainly have you exercise good communication, both on social and work related issues.

Meanwhile exhibit the best of your performance and verify your own value system and work ethics in a more viable and unique style until she will have to inevitably recognise and appreciate your contribution as being key to organisational prosperity without which the entire organisation stands a great loss. This alone will illustrate a sign of commitment, confidence and integrity which will definitely attract her to initiate a good communication system with you in trying to share constructive ideas for organisational growth.

Turn off your fears and approach her in a friendly manner to display your feelings about her hesitation with interacting with you. Kindly ask her if she can point out any work related unworthy actions you did that could probably have pissed her off and show your willingness to adjust, if any. Unrestrained and honest emotional expressions can relieve psychological pressure and hasten social working relationships.

Don’t be afraid of your boss, neither think of leaving the job, rather understand that her conduct could be a reflection of high self esteem often associated with such age and position. Similarly, with varied personality traits she could have illusively viewed you as undermining her, the reason why your self-expression at this time is crucial.


Your feedback Readers advise Salma

If she is not harassing you, it is fine

Benny Mugabo

She found you there and now you want to leave because of her? So many of us do not get along with our bosses but that doesn’t mean we have to quit. As long as she isn’t making you go against your beliefs or making you do weird things, you will be fine.

Follow your friend’s advice

Sharifa Sherie Kiruta

There is nothing worse than going to work and knowing that your boss or workmate doesn’t like you. It makes you think of work as a prison. Maybe the advice from your friend is something you should critically think of. It might be the right decision.

She is just immature

Peace Kamarunga

24-year-olds are very young and naïve people. They could hate you for no particular reason. Wait a while, she will grow up and stop picking on you. Give it time and make sure you show her that her attitude doesn’t bother you in any way.

This is petty

Rhina Nagasha

Everyone has a choice to interact with a person they feel comfortable with. She doesn’t find you as fun as the rest to talk to. That happens and that has never been a reason to leave a job, unless you already wanted to leave or have another job offer.

Ask her what her problem is

Ronald Muze

Sit her down and ask her what her problem with you is. That shouldn’t be so hard. It will save time. If she refuses to do so then mind your business and let it go.



You can’t quit over that

Desire Kakuyo

These are things that happen at work every day. If this is making you think of quitting, then you might spend the rest of your life quitting jobs. She is going to get over it as soon as you show her that you aren’t bothered by her acting weird towards you.

She just has her own issues

Davis Bikaku

I am guessing you are not very young. Now, why should you quit your job over a 24-year-old that could be taking out her frustration on the wrong people because her boyfriend didn’t text her goodnight?

She should have respect

Rose Nkurunziza

If you are older than she is then she should be respectful. It doesn’t matter if she is your boss or not, being disrespectful is not part of our culture.

Just do your job

Jean Pierre Mujambaje

If you know you didn’t do anything wrong to her, mind your business and do your job well. She will get over it.

Don’t look too much into it

Lucky Mugarura

A lion doesn’t fail to sleep over a sheep’s opinion. Take that with you.

Let her be

Esther Tibaijuka

A lady at such an age could hate on you because someone at work that she has a crush on talks to you a lot. Let her be and move on.

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