It takes two to tangle

Back in the day, it was a taboo for a woman to participate in her home’s welfare financially. All a woman was expected to do were, the household chores and to give birth to as many children as God would bless her with. That was her brief and the core of her existence. On the other hand the man was given far more respect because he was perceived to be the main bread winner, shouldering the family’s survival. As the woman was responsible for taking care of the babies and ensuring her husbands welfare, the husband was battling with the world to make ends meet for the family. Though the woman’s tasks were relatively tiresome, she was never given room to think hard towards the development of the family. Is this what God desired and condemned us to? A dichotomy in which our core existence was to share the burden of the punishment given in the Garden of Eden – women suffer the pain of child birth, while men toil and sweat for the family’s upkeep? Recent history has seen a significant reversal of the roles that we had been socialized to take. The era has witnessed more societal reforms with women taking up major roles economically and financially to sustain their families, negating decade old beliefs that they are dependents in perpetuity. Sadly, this might have led to divided responsibilities which have become a cancer that has been diagnosed in many marriages and relationships, as creating a big gap between couples. They seem to now strive to leave more independently of each other, than harmonious co-existence- - a relationship becomes mere routine. Like it’s said, it takes two to tangle. To many, this kind of arrangement gets terribly boring and they end up seeking love and affection else where. “He was always authoritative. He would address me like I was his daughter, I opted for a man I would share my all with,” says Aisha Muhayimana. Muhayimana’s husband emphasized the gap! He never at any point helped with house work, despite always complaining about what was been done wrongly in the house. The wife had also reduced herself to some kind of slave surviving at his bidding. The marriage did not last. And so we continue with the quest of finding that proper relationship that works for all – based on the mutual understanding that it takes two to tangle. lillianean@gmail.com

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It takes two to tangle