“I will marry when I want”: Why young people are getting wedded late

When you ask many a young man or woman whether they are married or not, you often get answers like; ‘I will marry when I want, after all the beautiful ones are not yet born, when you marry things fall apart and everything is no longer at ease’.

When you ask many a young man or woman whether they are married or not, you often get answers like; ‘I will marry when I want, after all the beautiful ones are not yet born, when you marry things fall apart and everything is no longer at ease’.

This may sound a mere listing of literature texts but there is a lot of sense in them, more especially when I chat with fellow youth.

One day, during a casual conversation with a friend, I asked why he was never mentioned marriage. His answer was, “the issue is not when to marry, but who to marry. You see there are very many girls in the country but very few wives.’I wonder what he meant by that.

But I wonder if it’s the lack of potential wives in this country or just the fear of responsibility among the youth today that’s keeping weddings low?

Maybe those fellows that are avoiding marriage have a point. After all, people have said the word ‘wife’ is a mere abbreviation of “Worries Invited For Ever”; so, the worry is that even a dream wife is among those.

The education system we go through has further worsened the situation, I believe. A certain friend of mine was in a dilemma; he wondered whether to get married first or get his Masters degree and, then, marry.

He argued that if he married before doing his Masters, the family responsibilities would never allow him to do so because of family expenditure.

The wife would need to visit the salon, dress decently, and live the reasonable life that every woman would expect. Then there would be the children as well.

So education for the whole family will be next to impossible. But is the masters’ degree the highest level of education? There will emerge a desire for a PhD which will mean more years required.

I think the greatest issue, that’s caused delays in young peoples marriage plans, is the financial factor. As Jane Austen said, “it’s foolish to marry for money, but unwise to marry without it.”

In this case the young people are left in a conundrum; how can they get married without any money in their pockets?

These days if you invite a girl for an outing, she will start by suggesting you go to Serena. When you are there she will order for the most expensive meal along with a bottle of Amarula as well.

If you pass this test, she will then ask you for a phone to check which Nokia N Series it is ( or Blackberry)before pressing *110# and finding out just how much airtime is on it.

Then after all this struggle, there will be the issue of bride price, the introduction ceremony and finally the wedding; ceremonies that all require economically strong muscle to handle or else you incur debts that you may never live to pay.

To sum it all up, the young person isn’t married, not because he/she doesn’t want to, but rather because the price is too high. But despite all this my advice to the youth is the same as that of the great philosopher, Socrates.

He advised that “by all means man must marry; if you marry a good wife you become happy, and if you marry a bad one you become a philosopher”.

kaboyojules@yahoo.com

The author lives in Musanze, Northern Province

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